What Your Chosen Drink for Election Night Says About You

*For those 21 years or older*

November 3rd  is coming, despite many of our fears and protests. As realized by many, this night will not just determine the next four years of politics but forever shape the lives of a great majority of Americans. I don't know about you, but I will for sure be calming my nerves with an alcoholic beverage. 

I want to make it clear that I am in no way advertising drinking as a coping mechanism for anxiety or as a fix-all for the results of the election. However, I do believe there will be a big rush to the local Total Wine store on November 2nd. And, if anyone is like me, I don’t think that will be a coincidence.

So, I took inspiration from this tendency, and I wrote an article on what your chosen drink says about your feelings towards the election. 

  1. 1. Vodka

    Smirnoff Vodka

    If you’re leaning towards choosing vodka, you’re a young adult who probably thinks your preferred candidate has got this election in the bag. You want to party with your roommates or friends when they win, and there’s no better way to do that than with America’s favorite party drink. If 2020 has proved anything, however, it is that nothing is certain. So, I recommend having a bottle of wine as a backup. 

  2. 2. Tequila

    Spoon Editorialshots

    While this might appear as a solely celebratory drink choice, it’s actually a perfect option for those people whose favored candidate loses. If your candidate ends up winning, tequila is a good option for making a margarita and dance the night away in celebration. But it’s also perfect for those that don’t really want to remember the results. A couple of shots of this baby, and you’re set to forget everything, including your first name.  

  3. 3. Champagne

    Likely, there will only be a small amount of the population buying champagne for the election night. This due to the majority of us having no clue as to who will win and not wanting to invest in a drink known for celebration. If you buy champagne, you are confident in your candidate winning. If that is the case, I am assuming you’re a campaign staffer for Trump or Biden. Please buy yourself some coffee.

  4. 4. Wine

    Wine is the choice for those of us who feel like they’re about to become the crazy looter on the street corner who yells about politics with passing cars. You probably feel like your favored candidate might not win, so you’re preparing with wine, a bubble bath, and a possible noise-cancellation room for screaming on standby. You are not alone; I will, in fact, be drinking wine, too.

  5. 5. Whiskey

    If you are drinking whiskey next Tuesday, you are Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries. Please call me. 

  6. 6. Beer

    There is only one type of person that will choose beer on election night: those who will be booking a one-way flight to Canada upon graduation. You likely feel as if neither candidate is capable of running an entire country, and the election is simply a contest between two unqualified men. As you wait for the election results, your feet will be propped up on a coffee table with a cold beer in one hand and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in the other -all while deciding which Canadian city you’ll reside in.-

Let me know if you agree or not with my opinions on your drink, and don't forget to VOTE!