Tinder Terrors

In an age of hookup culture, Tinder is reigning supreme. Everywhere you look quirky slogans are plastered on every window and display screaming, “Swipe right!” We would be lying though if we said that we didn’t necessarily partake in the grand ritual of swiping left or right. Just like everyone else, we’ve swiped right in hopes of finding that perfect night in the sack, but have gotten a rude awakening. Who we thought could’ve been our knight and shining armour for about a week or two turns out to be a complete ogre. So we’ve decided to share with you our Tinder misfortunes, in hopes of making you laugh or cringe, enjoy!

Whether you’re swiping through neverending profile photos featuring lifeless deer being held up by their antlers or reading messages that stem from a misogynistic society, you’re going to be disappointed by the state of mankind when you open your tinder app. I already have very low expectations for men and it gives me kind of a sick satisfaction when they prove that they’re all just as horrible as I already believed.

Here we have a meninist ready to fight for his rights in a clearly matriarchal society. I, personally, always forget there are people actually this horrible in the real world. The idea of neo nazis being real and swiping through tinder like the rest of us is a little terrifying. I mean, he’s being more forward about being racist than most guys are which saves me time, but he could definitely chill out a little.

Usually I like to keep my tinder antics contained within my iphone, but occasionally I put on my big girl panties and decide I can’t continue to complain about being alone if I never accept a date. This always goes horribly wrong. There quite possibly are some normal, interesting men out there, but I have never had the pleasure of meeting one in real life. The dates always end up being with strange men who are either very sexist, very racist, or very boring. Here in college station, they are normally a combination of all three.

Tinder is a beautiful way to spend a bored, drunk evening. Judging people is one of my favorite activities and tinder makes it possible to judge hundreds of people in one evening without even leaving your couch. What a wonderful time to be alive! Just make sure that while you’re on there, judging and hunting for some action, to respect everyone as if you weren’t online. And ladies, you would always rather be safe than sorry. If he seems a little creepy, he probably is. Stay safe and stay judgey!