Part 2: Rylan
She was looking at him with those stormy blue eyes of hers that have always been Rylan’s greatest weakness. Autumn had no idea that he had been crushing on her since that very first day they met, but she had made it very clear that she and Rylan were going to just be friends. It did not matter to him that she was cuffed into a hospital bed in the psychiatric ward, unable to move in case her night terrors struck her again, because in this moment she seemed relieved. It was as if the world was okay and she was at peace without having anything or anyone to disturb that in broad daylight. Autumn’s body was covered in bruises and cuts– battle wounds from the fight within her, and her hair was balled into a messy bun on top of her head. She looked as if her hauntings got into her mind and wrecked her entire body, yet all he could think about was how truly beautiful she was. How even through all of her pain and torture, she managed to hold onto life and fight for it. How her stormy blue eyes were the most incredible things he had ever seen in his life and how he could never seem get enough of them. How her strength through everything made him believe that she was the strongest woman he had ever met. He thought back to the day he realized that he liked her more than she ever knew.
It had just turned to fall their freshman year and Autumn was beyond excited to spend all of her time outside. The breeze softly blew her long dark brown hair and when she turned and looked at Rylan, the huge smile she wore on her face lit him up inside. It was the happiest he had ever seen Autumn and in that moment he knew he would see her like that for the rest of his life no matter what. He looked up through the trees at the perfect autumn sky and wondered how he could have ever gotten so lucky to meet Autumn merely a month before. She called Rylan’s name, pulling him out of the daydream he was in, and he wandered over to her, eager to do whatever it was what she wanted him to do. He looked down and noticed that Autumn had laid out the blanket and was starting to unpack the picnic basket she had brought with her. All of his favorite foods were laid out on the cloth seemingly waiting to be devoured. She looked up at him and he knew she was looking at the wide smile across his face and loved that she was staring at his dimples yet again. He sat down next to her on the checkered blanket and talked to her about anything and everything. Rylan was transfixed by the sound of her sultry voice and wanted to hear every detail of her life, no matter how small. They talked for hours as conversation came easy to them. Rylan had never been able to talk to anyone like he could talk to Autumn; he told her all of his secrets without a second thought, knowing he could trust her. In that moment he realized he liked her as more than just a friend and that killed him inside because he also remembered that she had always said they would stay friends and only that. Rylan could not fathom how he was going to keep this secret from her, but all he knew was that he could not lose her. As the hours passed on, the sky fell and the stars came out, and they lay next to each other relishing in the peaceful serenity of the darkness enveloping them. She snuggled closer and rested her perfect head on his arm and Rylan had to concentrate on slowing his quickening heartbeat so she would not notice. Minutes passed by and he noticed Autumns breathing slowed as she fell into a calm and deep sleep. After waiting sometime to keep from waking her, he gently cradled her in his arms and brought her back to her dorm room that happened to be right down the hall from his own. Rylan tucked her into bed and stood there for a minute, relishing how beautiful she looked curled up fast asleep. He knew then that he would always be there for Autumn no matter what, no questions asked. He had fallen in love.
Autumn’s coughing attack broke him from his trance and he rushed over to help her sit up in bed. Her brief moment of peace was over. He took one look in her eyes and could tell that she was back in her thoughts. Back in the darkest parts of her mind that she refused to let anyone into. Autumn’s stormy blue eyes were now hollow inside. It seemed to Rylan as if she was empty and was using all of her energy to fight back against her inner demons. He stared at her and watched as she gazed blankly at the wall, preparing himself for the horrors of what was going to happen next. Rylan knew that she worked like clock work and counted down, wating. ‘Five… four… three… two… one.’ Autumn’s eyes came back to life and her piercing scream was so loud he swore one of these days his own eardrums would burst. The nurses slammed through the doors, hoping to catch Autumn in time before her full on panic attack hit. Rylan stood back like he always did and watched on as they injected a sedative into her weak, ghostly white arm. As her bellowing lowered, he prayed that she would just once make it through her dreams without waking in terror. Watching her go through agonizing pain because of whatever kept haunting her, broke something inside him. The second Autumn was out, the nurses quietly left the room as if to give him time to be with his own wretched thoughts. Rylan heard his alarm go off, alerting him that he would be late to class if he did not leave soon, and he carefully got up and kissed Autumns head goodbye. He briskly walked out of he grim room and into the stark white hallways where the only spots of color were on the bulletin boards, seemingly trying to show how much school spirit the on-campus hospital had. Rylan looked down at his favorite photo of himself and Autumn from their picnic last fall, and couldn’t help but wonder what their lives would have been like if her unknown traumatic experience had never happened. He walked out of the hospital and into the autumn breeze, wishing for clarity for the last time.