Dating has always been complicated, but I’ve recently noticed it’s gotten so much worse. Since starting college, I have been in everything from long-term relationships to situationships. Here is how I define modern dating terms based on my experience.
The talking stage:
The talking stage is the most frustrating. It usually means you have feelings for someone and think the other person also has feelings based on your texts and conversations, but neither party has stated they have feelings. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, and you hold your breath, waiting for them to text you back. You obsess over every word you text because you don’t want to say something too forward, but you also want them to know you’re interested.
Delulu:
There are 4 paths: a talking stage can lead to a relationship, a situationship, nothing, and delulu. Delulu stands for delusional. It’s when you take something benign they say or do and blow it up into something more meaningful. For a mortifying example, a guy I was in a situationship with played my favorite song on the speakers at a party, which I took as a romantic gesture. I had never told him it was my favorite song, and he just played it cause it was good.
The Situationship:
Somewhat worse than the talking stage, a situationship is disgusting. It’s like limbo; you’ve both admitted feelings, you’ve probably gone on dates, and you may even have met each other’s families, but you aren’t in a committed relationship. The only thread that makes it a situationship is that it lasts longer than about a month, and it’s never official.
The Roster:
Some people who aren’t in relationships have what is known as a roster. It’s usually a list of people who are dtf, but it can just be a list of people who are willing to take you on a date. In the manosphere, you might hear it referred to as a stable, with women being mares. Personally, I find that revolting.
DTF
Down to Fuck. Pretty simple.
The Manosphere:
Tangentially related, the manosphere is a cesspool of the internet where insecure men and boys who want to learn about dating end up. They usually refer to women in horrible fashion and crap on secure men.
Rizz:
Charisma.
Red, Yellow, Beige, and Green Flags:
Flags are traits you see in your partner that tell you to move forward with the relationship or not. Red Flags are really bad traits; for example, they cheated in a past relationship. Yellow flags make you stop and think before going for it; for example, they’re really late to dates. Beige Flags aren’t good or bad, but they might just be weird. It’s the long walks on a beach. And finally, Green Flags are really good traits, like bringing you flowers just because.
A pick me:
Usually, in relation to women, a pick me is a person who begs or changes parts of their personality to make their partner want them. Meredith Grey is the original pick me. This term is somewhat controversial because it’s used to bully or make fun of women a lot.
Hard and Soft Launch:
Launching someone is posting them on social media. This can be just an arm, a soft launch, or a picture of the two of you with a tag, a hard launch. Hard launches are usually for relationships, and soft launches are for situationships.