Warning: Possible Spoiler Alert!
Walking into the theater where I used to work, getting tickets for Love, Simon with my best friend, and being asked by my old colleagues “why would you want to see it? Is it even necessary anymore? People are pretty accepting nowadays. There are a bunch of LGBTQ+ movies out there.”
These comments made me somewhat irritated and I tried to explain my position on the subject, which fell on ears that didn’t care to hear. It always fell back to “it’s just overkill how much representation the LGBTQ+ community wants at this point.”
My position on the subject is that there is no mainstream, pop-culture LGBTQ+ movie out there. If I want to see one where the couple isn’t killed off or separated by some tragic Romeo-and-Juliet-esque story, I have to go into the foreign film section of Netflix or Indie DVDs dispersed through the Half Price Books movie shelves. When the only couple that represents you dies every time, that doesn’t inspire you to come out to your family and friends, no matter how accepting they may seem.
That is what Love, Simon was trying to combat. It described the fears associated with coming out so precisely from Simon’s not wanting things to change, not wanting people to see him differently since they all grew up together, to questioning how some people would react. Along with that how some people react is demeaning without necessarily trying to be hurtful, in the case of Martin asking what Simon found to be his most attractive quality just because he’s attracted to guys.
Even when someone is sure their family would be supportive of them, it is still difficult to come out to them. In the movie, Simon specifically comments on how his parents would be 100% supportive of him, but still hesitates to tell them just because he fears they’ll see him differently. That was my favorite part, when he came out to his family his mother told him he is still himself, but he could finally be more himself than he’s been in a very long time.
Love, Simon doesn’t necessarily show the struggle people of color face when coming out, but it does include them in the conversation which is incredibly important. Moonlight shows the unique troubles associated with being black and gay better than Love, Simon, but then again, Love, Simon is meant to be the lighthearted cliché love story that fits into mainstream media to open Hollywood up to LGBTQ+ main characters. Another wonderful representation of LGBTQ+ people of color (Latinx) is One Day at a Time on Netflix, this also includes how religion plays a role in acceptance or denial and opens up conversations about other struggles faced by PoC, veterans, and immigrants.
The conversation of why is it that only LGBTQ+ people have to come out is also important. People assume that if you identify as male or female you’re attracted to the opposite sex basically from birth. Many times, when I had guy friends my parents or their parents would comment on how they could see us dating in the future and things that no one bats an eye at. It isn’t seen as odd in our current society, but it shouldn’t be assumed anymore. When kids grow up believing they have to fit into a certain role it sticks with them and they try to force themselves into something that doesn’t feel right to them.
Another struggle he faced was deciding if his image was supposed to change when he came out. Many LGBTQ+ people think they have to fit some image and when they don’t it becomes exponentially more difficult to express themselves to people. The whole “but you don’t look or dress like you’re gay” or “if you’re a lesbian why do you wear makeup” thing needs to GO. Anyone can be gay, or lesbian, or trans, or anyone they want to be and not necessarily fit the stereotype.
Overall, I feel this movie is still relevant in our society, that it is a necessity to bring more widespread acceptance and understanding of the LGBTQ+ community. Coming out is a big part of being part of the community, whether to friends or family or just to other people who are a part of it already. That step needs to be showcased so people aren’t afraid to be themselves and feel comfortable in their own skin. To see that, for the most part, people were accepting of someone coming out instead of being judgmental and disturbed is something the community needs. Even if it isn’t family or friends, there is always someone to confide in. This movie simply lessens the fear associated with such a turning point in one’s life. Along with that, it showcases the need for people of the community to come out in their own time, that it is their decision who they come out to, when they do, and how they do. Understanding and acceptance on the part of anyone not within the community is, of course, always appreciated.
In my own personal experience, coming out as bisexual to my family was met with laughs and a belief that I was joking, which I’m sure many people are faced with. I am lucky to have been able to get my parents to understand it’s real and to accept me as valid, as well as the entire community. It is hard for people to change their ways but it’s no excuse to refuse to change at all due to how they were raised. For me, Love, Simon is an honest representation of how I felt coming out to my friends and family. Some people I haven’t come out to, others I never will, and that is my choice. It feels good having at least one cliché over-the-top romance to show what my kind of love could look like.