Reality television has a special place in my heart. Ever since high school, my mom and I have been proud fans of Bachelor Nation. We bonded over a variety of shows in the Bachelor franchise but my personal favorite is The Bachelorette. There is something especially entertaining about grown men creating petty drama on international television.
That being said, it wasn’t until this past year that I returned to watching The Bachelor franchise. I watched Charity’s season over summer break and remembered why I fell in love with reality television in the first place. My mom and I loved psychoanalyzing the contestants and predicting who would go home at the end of each episode.
When I found out Joey was going to be the next Bachelor, I knew I had to tune in to season 28. However, I never expected to become so wrapped up in Bachelor Nation discourse. Memes and fan theories dominated my social media for an embarrassingly long time. Like many other fans, I was captivated by Maria and all the drama that surrounded her.
For those who don’t know, one of the major plotlines of season 28 of The Bachelor was the feud between Maria and Sydney. The issue began when one of the oldest contestants, Madina, voiced the fear that her age would negatively affect her relationship with Joey. Maria commented to the other contestants that age was not a big deal and she hoped Madina could embrace it like she has. Sydney overheard these comments and told Madina that Maria was saying bad things about her to the other women in the house. Thus began a series of accusations both in and outside of the show.
One of the primary subjects of discourse was who in the house should be considered the “mean girl”. Sydney and Madina both told Joey and viewers that they felt bullied by Maria. Maria told Joey that the rift between her and the girls caused her to feel ostracized from the rest of the house. Fans online were quick to come to Maria’s defense. Most argued that she should not be punished for being blunt and having a more confrontational personality than other contestants. Fans also took issue with the way Sydney handled the situation.
As a Maria fan from the beginning, I found myself hopping on the Sydney hate train. She seemed to serve no purpose on the show apart from disliking Maria. Since Sydney did not have a strong connection with Joey, her screen time was entirely dedicated to drama. So why is it that Joey and the producers allowed her to stay on the show for so long? Producers wanted to give the audience a villain to root against. I am not arguing that the producers gave Sydney a “bad edit”. Other contestants have corroborated Maria’s side and Sydney did make nasty comments. What I will say is that the show intentionally framed Sydney as a villain… and viewers ate it up.
It was disappointing to see how the online narrative shifted as the episodes were released. What began as valid criticisms of Sydney’s actions on the show devolved into her receiving death threats on social media. In “The Women Tell All”, Maria directly asked supporters to call off the online harassment towards Sydney. After watching the episode, I realized I needed to reflect on my own attitude. How did I find myself so caught up in hating a woman I have never met? The answer, as per usual, is internalized misogyny. Societal programming has taught women that we need to be hypercritical of each other. What is most important is that we recognize and correct these behaviors.
So no, I do not think that enjoying reality television is anti-feminist, as long as it is consumed with a critical lens, it is perfectly okay to find comfort in the cheesy romance of the Bachelor franchise.