“Of course you’re going to college, that’s why we came here mija.” And with that simple sentence, the pressure is on for the rest of my life.
Sixteen year old me would have never believed that in just two years I was going to move eight hours away from home. Much less, attend the largest university in the country. Fast forward to the first week of school, and I was already going through something that I’ve never had felt before called “imposter syndrome”. That constant thought in your head that says “You’re not doing enough”, “Transfer back home”, “It’s too much”, or always feeling under pressure that maybe you won’t make it and will disappoint your loved ones back at home.
Seeing how most students connected so unbelievably fast or were already involved in many things in just the first week of school didn’t make it any better. Even though I sparked conversation with people in different classes, it didn’t feel like I was making lasting friendships.
Regardless of the “college life”, the reason I came to a university was because my parents immigrated to the United States for a purpose. Achieving the “American Dream” meant giving themselves and their future family a better life than the one they initially grew up in. Saying that attending college is an honor would be a complete understatement, to me it has been a blessing even through all the hardships. It is what makes me a proud first generation student. I will forever be in debt to them because of how much they both have supported me in every possible way, but most importantly, they have never failed to be amazing parents.
Unknowingly moving away was the beginning of many accomplishments that defied expectations and proved my imposter syndrome to be invalid. Having the heart to actually pack my things and not giving up for the past seven months of being here defined that I can actually do this. All I had to do was be patient and not give in to what “seems” easier. Seven months ago I was so close to packing up my things and leaving A&M, but now I’ve realized how much this journey has made me grow into someone unbelievably incredible. No matter how hard it gets, there is always a way. It’s a matter of not letting those negative thoughts win.