Here are some very important tips that any collegiette will need as they walk head-on into finals week:
- Go to the store to get all of those fun flashcards, pens, sticky notes, highlighters and everything else that makes it seem like you have your life together and organized while studying for finals. This first step is the most important because it makes everyone else think you have your shiz together, which is honestly more important than actually having your shiz together.
- Fill up your planner with blocked out times for studying for each final. Then, proceed to write in how many hours you plan on spending watching Netflix instead of studying. Just being honest. Having your planner full of writing also makes you look like you have your life together even when you don’t, so that’s an automatic win even if you don’t follow through with your careful scheduling.
- Search for a new spot on-campus to live like a hermit the entire week of finals that, hopefully, no one else will know about. Everyone is tired of showing up at Sweet Eugenes, Starbucks, Quadbucks or any of the libraries and not being able to find a single spot to camp out for days on end. So, venture out to somewhere new like that cute boy’s place (I’m kidding. Don’t do that because #distractions) or to another city. Actually, while you’re at it, venture out to another state, maybe. What about another country? Maybe, just don’t come back for finals? Hahaha. Haha. Ha.
- Calculate the grade you need to make on each exam to get the grade you want in the class. Then, calculate the grade you need on the exam to just barely pass the class. (C’s get degrees, am I right?)
- Buy all of the junk food in the world to comfort you as finals get closer. Food equals happiness. Finals equals death. Those cancel each other out, obviously. Also, who needs a rockin’ summer bod when you can stuff your face with Oreos while pretending your brain isn’t about to explode with information? Personally, I’d rather stuff my face during finals and *maybe* survive the week, than have abs for summer.
That’s all the tips I have for you, folks. May the ‘Finals Week’ odds be ever in your favor. Pray that you are the lucky S.O.B. that’s got a prof who bumps grades.