With the overbearing stress of yet another semester closing in on us, I’ve curated a list of things that I would imagine somebody with life figured out and a lot of spare time on their hands would do. Some wishful thinking, if you will...
Drink A Glass of Wine ONE glass. Not the bottle, just one glass. Try out that “self-control” thing everybody keeps saying you need.
Can somebody please tell me where to find that wine glass?
A Face Mask Do it while you do something else productive, like, I don’t know, your homework. Or waste your night binge-watching some trash reality TV while drinking that aforementioned entire bottle of wine. Hey, at least you have a face mask on.
Can’t go wrong while wearing a face mask.
Work Out Lol, I’ll leave this one up to your own interpretation. Some people run 10 miles as a warm-up, while others, such as myself, consider the walk from the parking lot to the ice cream aisle at your nearest HEB a good workout. The world is your oyster.
If only fitness classes in which you are forced to participate didn’t cost money… darn.
DON’T Take a Nap Napping is hard enough even when my life is a total wreck. Who has time to take naps between mental breakdowns? Well… I do. But only if I skip class.
When else am I supposed to sleep?
Go to Class Because honestly, the only excuse to not going is that you need a nap. Which I’ve already explained you can no longer do. That or a raging hangover. Or a mental breakdown. Or simply having to skip a class to study for another class.
Nobody said you have to pay attention, though.
Eat a Salad Look, I’m sure Chick-fil-A appreciates you single-handedly keeping them in business, but when they know your name and order, it may be time to pump the breaks. Or you could just drive to the Chick-fil-A on the other side of town, buy yourself some time away from the judgement. I won’t tell anybody.
Even better, order a salad from Chick-fil-A.
Make Your Bed I don’t know about you, but the appearance of my room is a direct reflection of how my life is going. Nobody can assume you’re a mess if your bed is made. Nobody. I don’t care if you have mascara running down your face and haven’t washed your hair in five days. If your bed is make, you’ve got it together.
Bonus points if you can do this.
Take a Bubble Bath A long one. Where you can sit and think about all the stuff you need to do, but aren’t doing. You’re not stressing though, because you’re taking a bubble bath.
Maybe if we drink champagne and close our eyes, we will open them with the life of Margot Robbie.
Get Your Nails Done This may be the only thing on the list that requires what us broke college students consider to be a substantial amount of money, but look good, feel good, am I right? There’s nothing like those hot towel-wraps and a nice foot massage from the homies over at Nail Spa. They’ll hook you up.
“You have boyfren'?”
Finish Some Work BEFORE its Due There is no better feeling on this earth, I promise you.
And if you wait… it will hit you. Hard.