I am breaking my silence. I have never in my life properly assembled a gingerbread house. For me, building a gingerbread house is equally as frustrating as building legos or having a heated game of monopoly with your family. It brings me great stress.
My journey with gingerbread house building starts as a young child. My mom bought my sister and me each a “make your own gingerbread house” kit. The kit was complete with premade pieces of gingerbread, white frosting, gummies, candies, and mints. After much time had passed, neither my sister nor I could even get the house to stand. If it wasn’t one of the walls, it was the roof collapsing. I can not make up what we did next.
Seeing how upset my sister and I were, my dad whipped out the glue gun and glued the gingerbread together. Then he let us decorate an inedible gingerbread house. And guess what?… I made that gingerbread house so freaking festive and beautiful. I had a roof lined with rainbow candy and a green mint on the front door. My first gingerbread house was a tad messy but nevertheless endearing, like one of those guys women find oddly intriguing with his “I can fix him energy?” Yes, that accurately describes the first gingerbread house I made.
Mom and dad created a monster that day because the next time, I got ambitious. I thought it would be so cool to add icicles hanging from the roof of my house. I started attempting to pipe the icicles, but the frosting made every shape but an icicle. In ten seconds, I ruined yet another gingerbread house.
It goes without saying, I have never been able to make a gingerbread house that is both edible and pretty. My little gingerbread men will remain homeless as long as I have shaky hands and a lack of patience when it comes to assembling. You might have more luck if you remember the golden rule: when in crisis, cover your mistakes with frosting!