Why are girls so mean? Why do we pretend that we are perfect? Why do we act like we don’t have any problems?
I doubted my ex’s love for me countless times. I talked to him with love in my voice and hate in my heart. I ignored his pleas and cries for help, and I simply added my insecurities and waves of anger to him. Instead of listening, I bashed him. I took all he was and dumped it into the trash as if it didn’t matter.
We put on facades to hide ourselves. The ones we are most vulnerable to are the ones we hurt the most. I look at some of my family members’ faces with jealousy. Why can’t I have what you have? And so, I retaliate. I push away and grant them the silent treatment.
Why are girls so mean? When you look at the situation, aren’t we in the wrong? Why do we validate our problems, but when others have issues, we dismiss them? Why do we only matter?
In the classic early 2000s movie Mean Girls, Cady transitions from a wholesome homeschooled kid to the most hated girl in her high school to a wounded woman who’s experienced every end of the spectrum. She’s confronted by both of her close friends as pretending to be extremely nice when all she truly was was a mean girl [Writer’s note: Despite the circumstances they were under, I believe that Regina George and Janis Ian were two of Cady’s closest friends].
Imagine how spiteful we are to other girls. We tell each other that we support each other, but then we drag each other down. One girl wears too much make-up and needs to clean herself. Another girl doesn’t use enough make-up and needs to cover herself up. One girl is too thin and needs to eat – get some meat on her bones. Another girl is too big and needs to lose some weight – no one likes the heavy girls. One girl posts too many revealing photos on her social media and needs to put some clothes on. Another girl is too conservative and needs to let loose – live a little. Girls always pick on each other, no matter how “feminist” we claim to be. We will put each other under the boot to try and get ourselves a bit of gain that we probably don’t deserve.
Not only are we mean to our boyfriends, our family members, our friends, or each other, but we, as individuals, are the most frequent and most hurtful victims of our hate. I do not think I have ever met a girl that has been 100% satisfied with herself. I do not think I have ever met a girl who didn’t have one bad thing to say about herself. Whether it’s because she internalized hate from others, accepted incorrect assumptions she has about herself, compared her worth to the billions of other females on this earth, or another reason that she doesn’t think she is worth it.
What happened? Is this reflective of our girls growing up? Are our personalities blank slates until we face experiences, reality, and the like? Do some people have trouble appropriately experiencing their feelings, or are we all just mean girls?