I sat down the other day and I was deciding on different article topics I wanted to write about this semester, and I decided to do a little series! Let’s Talk About ___ is going to be my outlet to talk about topics I personally deal with, or things I feel need more attention. This week, I want to talk about vulnerability and my experience with it.
Let me set the scene for you, okay?
It’s 5:30 AM, you’ve stayed up all night playing a video game with your friends, and now you’ve found yourself having a soul talk with them. The topic of vulnerability comes up and the different opinions seem pretty split.
One of my friends had essentially said how they believe vulnerability leads to being hurt and being taken advantage of (I’m paraphrasing, I don’t remember their exact words). I used to think this way, too. I have always struggled with being too open, too trusting. You could look at me and my entire emotional state would be obvious and I wore my heart on my sleeve. I was an open book to anyone who cared enough to read it, and it got me hurt. I experienced such painful heartbreak because people used my vulnerabilities against me. Some people couldn’t handle how “much” I was and would leave, and it hurt. After a specifically bad heartbreak, I became cold. I didn’t want anyone to know me, I no longer had the desire to open up because I believed if I kept my vulnerabilities at a distance, I wouldn’t get hurt. But when I closed myself off like that and kept everything distanced, romance and friendships lost their beauty for me. I was refusing to be emotionally intimate with people which prevented me from developing those close relationships that I craved. To me, being vulnerable is beautiful, terrifying, courageous, and rewarding. To let someone see things you might not like about yourself, or things that scare you or break your heart is beautiful and brave. Vulnerability allows you to have unique connections with beautiful people and it helps you grow.
An old friend of mine referred to me as vulnerable, implying I am weak, easy to manipulate and control. It hurts to see someone use one of my proudest traits in such a negative way; there is a beauty in vulnerability and I believe there is always a lesson that comes after being vulnerable.
More recently, I have formed such an open and accepting group of friends who embrace vulnerability (shout out to my girls, gays and theys on twitter, I love you guys <3) They are the perfect example of vulnerability being beautiful and rewarding by giving me life long friends who support me as a person, increase my self confidence and give me a space where I can openly talk about literally anything. Because of them, I truly believe vulnerability does more good than harm, and I think you should try it, too.