We all make mistakes. We all experience failure. We all have insecurities– It’s just part of being human. But we all have room for improvement. Most people argue that people never change, but I don’t think this is necessarily true. Just like people grow out of their clothes, they can also grow out of their mistakes, failures, and insecurities. Change is a natural part of self-growth as long as you stay true to yourself and your values.
It’s easy to feel like our mistakes define us, which makes it even easier to be our own worst critics. I am here to tell you that it’s okay to make mistakes. Without making them, we would never get to know what areas we need to improve on. From making mistakes, you gain self-awareness– the ability to understand your consciousness through personal experiences, emotions, and desires based on your internal standards. Mistakes encourage us to become better versions of ourselves because they open our eyes to new perspectives, habits, and skills. Self-awareness is something that takes time to develop as you go through different phases in your life. Your late teen years and early 20s, especially, is the best time to make mistakes and when you will most likely gain the most self-awareness. Throughout these crucial years, you’re experiencing things for the first time, facing new challenges, and learning the ropes of adulthood. Think of life as an obstacle course; there will be things or situations that get in your way, but it’s all about figuring out different ways to navigate through them in order to finish the course.
Failing doesn’t feel so great in the moment, but remember that there’s going to be failure behind any success. Even the most successful people in the world have failed at some point. Just know it is not how hard you fall but how fast you get back up. The secret to overcoming failure is to acknowledge it but not dwell on it. Instead, think about what steps you are going to take to get where you want to be. I experienced failure when I didn’t make the JV volleyball team for my high school sophomore year. I had already struggled with making friends on the team and measuring up to the other players. So, I had two choices. I could either take my coach’s offer to ride the bench and practice with the team with the possibility of playing a few games at the end of the season, or I could stop right then and there. Although I was embarrassed that I did not make the team, I decided that I was going to prove my potential. One of the last games of the season, I was subbed in to play, and I ended up scoring the winning point. It took time to come back from this failure, but I was patient and kept working on getting better every practice. I eventually stopped playing my junior and senior years because I realized I was unhappy on the team, but I am still proud that I stuck it out and made a memorable comeback in the end.
Having insecurities is normal, but it can lead to low self-confidence, which can affect many aspects of your life. Learning how to accept your flaws while appreciating your strengths is a vital step in gaining self-confidence. Nowadays, social media allows us to believe that people are “perfect” and have their lives all put-together– but the truth is we only see what people choose to show. It can be hard to avoid comparing and caring about what others think, but it’s unhealthy because it hinders your ability to be happy with yourself. Little by little, the less you try to be perfect and care about how other people view you, the more free you will feel. For the longest time in high school, I struggled with my self-confidence even outside of volleyball. Anyone that knew me at school probably saw me as the quiet and nice girl. I hid behind a fake smile and never gave myself a chance to show people who I really was because I was insecure. I had a hard time finding my place because, but I’m also not one to change myself to fit in. So, I learned to find comfort in standing alone sometimes. It wasn’t easy, but it made me more independent. Towards the end of sophomore year, I decided to separate myself from drama and toxic friendships. I would even avoid sitting in the cafeteria during lunch for weeks until I found new friends to sit with. Flashforward to junior year, the pandemic happened, and it was the perfect opportunity to reset and work on myself– I took this time to build up my confidence and better my mindset. After a long time in lockdown, I looked forward to starting my senior year back at school. I was not going to let my past determine the rest of my experience. It also wasn’t until my senior year and to this day that I found my true circle of friends. Although I had a positive end to my high school experience, I was counting down the days until college– I was ready to step outside of my comfort zone and get to be the girl who was behind the fake smiles. As much as high school was a rollercoaster for me, I’m thankful for these years. I learned more about myself through self-awareness and grew stronger as a person. If it wasn’t for the hardships I faced, I would not be the version of myself that I am today. I’m now at my dream school in a city that I love, surrounded by amazing friends– all because I had the confidence to come out of my shell.
So, my advice to you is take your mistakes, failures, and insecurities and turn them into motivation. You are your own competition. Put yourself out there and know that it’s okay to stand alone. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own life– so live it up and don’t let anyone or anything stop you from being you. Lastly, no matter how difficult things get, it’s never too late to redefine yourself.