My whole life has been consumed with the fear of what people thought about me. One negative comment would send me into a spiral of negative thoughts that seemed endless. Why do we as humans care so much about what others think? Here below I have some steps that I have taken that seriously improved the way I saw myself and how I saw others.
- Realize that It’s them, not you.
When other people have negative things to say about you, resist the temptation to ponder on what they said. Instead, realize that people who bring down others are broken inside. The way people talk about others is a direct indication of the type of person that they are, so don’t take what they say so personally. Instead, realize that the person is irrelevant to your self-confidence, and ignore what they have to say.
- Embrace all the people that love you
Instead of focusing on the people who enjoy bringing you down, think about all of the people that love you for who you are. Focusing on the negative people in your life will only bring you further down mentally. Feel gratitude towards the genuine people in your life, and put energy into these relationships rather than obsessing over negative opinions.
2. Realize that people are going to talk no matter what you do, so do what you want.
If you’re shy, people will criticize your introversion and encourage you to open up. If you open up you’re shell and show your true colors, people will think you too loud and quirky. Although the opinions of others seem crucial to your self-confidence, I encourage you to simply BE YOU. Stop worrying about these people and show your true personality. At the end of the day, the best memories and people in your life will come from embracing your true self.
3. Validate yourself instead of seeking validation from others.
In our society, having people like you seems to be one of the most important aspects of life. The validation other people give you is temporary. You may feel good at the moment when somebody compliments your outfit, but this won’t last long. However, how you see yourself lasts forever. Write out a bulleted list of qualities that you love about yourself. Embrace these qualities, and focus on them rather than focusing on what everyone around you has to say.
4. Move on
This may be the hardest step, especially for those who tend to overthink. Not everyone you meet is going to be your biggest fan. Accepting this will change the way you see yourself. Nobody on earth has been able to get everyone they’ve met to like them. Embrace this fact. What truly matters is having true friends and community around you. Popularity and being well-liked may seem crucial at the moment, but don’t be fooled. The people that don’t like you are simply irrelevant. Be your best self and ignore these haters.
5. Empower others.
Believe it or not, encouraging others boosts your self-esteem. Start treating the people around you with kindness, and they will do the same to you. Even if people don’t treat you with kindness, that is a reflection of who THEY are, not you. Be a kind person and love others the way you want to be loved!