Throughout my nineteen years of life, I’ve encountered various toxic and negative people. People have used me, made fun of me, ridiculed me, and talked bad about me behind my back. Although I’ve been hurt and dragged down many times, these experiences made me a much stronger and more resilient person. I learned to stand up for myself and never let myself be mistreated. But the most important thing that I learned was not to react to this negativity.
When a negative person treats you poorly, they look for a reaction. When you give them a reaction to their negativity, they get the approval that they’re able to manipulate your feelings. When you simply learn to walk away from a negative person, it shows them that what they say simply doesn’t bother you. This was a very hard lesson for me to learn. I used to give the biggest and most egregious reactions when somebody was mean to me. I have screamed at many people and lost my temper completely. I would try to hurt others harder than they had hurt me.
At the moment, fighting back felt SO good. It would feel amazing to treat people exactly the way they treated me. But in the long run, losing my temper made me feel just as empty as before. It took me 19 whole years to learn how to walk away. Walking away and ignoring negative people is 10 times more powerful than screaming in their faces. In fact, ignoring your aggressor shows them that they have no effect on you. In the long run, this is SO much more powerful than giving them a reaction.
However, not giving a reaction doesn’t always correlate to their words truly not affecting you. Let’s be real here- words hurt. It’s hard not to take negative comments or attacks personally. It isn’t always easy being strong. It took me a while to learn to ignore the negativity others inflicted on me. In fact, I still get very hurt and offended by what others say about me. As a sensitive and emotional person, I can take what other people say about me VERY personally.
A few months ago, I listened to a podcast that gave me some super valuable advice. It said, in simple words, that other people’s outward negativity comes from their internalized insecurities. When other people feel bad about themselves inside, they feel the need to reciprocate these feelings to others around them. This advice helped me not to take negative comments and attacks so personally, for other people’s negative words are just reflections of their own insecurities.
This world is full of negative people. People are going to try to bring you down whatever you do. Once you focus on yourself and your success, you will realize that these successes come from within, not others.