Everyone experiences singleness at some point in their lives. Some people are only single for weeks at a time, while others go years without any romantic interactions. I, myself, have been single for 19 years. You heard that right, my whole 19 years of existence. 19 years of being single (not counting my casual house party hook-ups), majorly failed talking stages/flings, and humiliating school-girl crushes. Part of me is terrified of commitment. The other part of me wants a relationship, but ghosts guys once they start showing too much interest. However, I’ve gained a lot of knowledge and self-awareness from my trainwreck years of a “love life”. I learned how to be single— and how to enjoy it! Being young offers so much growth and opportunity, and from being single during these years, I grew so much as a person. I figured out who I was without the influence of another person. Does it upset me sometimes that I’ve never held anything even close to serious? Yes, 100%. I sometimes lay in bed wondering what is wrong with me and if I’m going to be single for life. However, I’ve learned to be at peace with my lack of relationship status and enjoy my youth years whilst unattached!
Use your time as a single person to meet new people
Being single allows you to explore your options without the pressure of being tied down. During my first year of college, I became a social butterfly with a variety of guys. I met guys at frats, bars, in my classes, and (unfortunately) on Tinder as well. I was able to go to different date parties/ formals with all kinds of different guys. Exploring your options allows you to become aware of your type, and what you look for in a future partner! I’ve learned that douchey frat boys aren’t my cup of tea. But without putting myself out there, I would have never known this!
Use this time to build your resume!
Your college years ultimately build who you are as an adult. So don’t waste your time waiting around for Prince charming! Instead, search for a job, internship, club, etc! At the end of the day, you can’t add all of your dating experience on a professional resume. Future employers will be more impressed to see all of the accomplishments you achieved while being an independent and intelligent woman.
Focus on your friendships
Let’s be real here- we’ve all had a friend growing up that completely ditches her girlfriends after she gets a boyfriend. It’s the worst feeling in the world seeing one of your close friends leave you in the dust for a guy! Don’t be this girl! While single, use this time to get super close to your girlfriends. Go out to the club with them if you’re a partier, or even just have a sit-down dinner with them if that’s more of your cup of tea. And when prince charming does come rolling around, don’t forget to keep these valuable relationships in your life!
Pick up a new hobby
For me, this is writing! Finding something that you’re good at and love to do will help you gain independence and self-awareness. A lot of girls in serious relationships put so much energy into their partners that they forget to do things for themselves. So use this time to find something that you love to do! Working out helps relieve stress and tension, and can make you super confident! Reading helps you learn about the world. For me, writing helps me express my thoughts. There are various other hobbies you can pick up to become a better version of yourself!
Don’t settle- for anyone
You’re going to meet A LOT of new people during your college years. Some of them are going to be complete trash, while others are going to be amazing for you. My advice to you is to NEVER settle for a potential love interest. Even if you’re the only single friend, DO NOT settle for anyone. YOU deserve somebody who will treat you like a queen. Don’t let anybody make you think differently during these years.