With graduation less than a month away, I’ve felt very bittersweet and nostalgic about all of it. Leaving my well-adjusted routine behind when it feels like I’ve barely just gotten to know myself makes me feel uneasy. However, I’ve been reflecting on important life lessons I’ve learned and will make sure to carry them into this new chapter in my life. If you’re new to college, in the midst, or just need some advice, I hope the things I’ve learned along the way will give you a hand.
- You are responsible for your own happiness.
-
I’m starting strong with a hard pill to swallow. From the get-go, I learned straight away that I was responsible for my own happiness in college. I didn’t understand at first that I wasn’t supposed to depend on others to always lift me up, which was the hardest part. However, when I realized that I held all the power to make myself happy, things turned around rather quickly. You can not rely on someone to provide you with the happiness you need to thrive because they are already responsible for their own. I would base my happiness on the people around me and those at home, and it drained me when I wasn’t getting what I needed. Of course, friends and family are always there for you, but you can not depend on others to fix your feelings; it’s not fair to them either.
- No one is judging you!
-
Going to a whole new school in a whole new place was nerve-wracking. It almost felt like being a high school freshman again. Am I wearing the right things? Is this the type of backpack everyone uses? Can I show up to this party? You can’t help but feel like you are the main character at the beginning of a crazy coming-of-age movie. The good news is no one is judging you. Everyone is so caught up in their appearance, insecurities, and thoughts that they don’t have the time. If someone is openly judging you, they probably have some insecurities they need to work out and are projecting them onto anyone they can. Being yourself is the most important thing you can do because those who are meant to be in or out of your life will naturally come and go.
- Alone time doesn’t mean being lonely.
-
This is a really tough concept. I read the saying, “Being alone doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely,” and it opened my eyes like never before. It is so true. Spending time alone with your thoughts and doing something you love is super important in this time of life. Journaling your feelings, reading a good book outside, getting lunch alone, or just enjoying a movie by yourself can teach you so much about yourself. You can talk to strangers, try new things, learn new things about your likes and dislikes, and really connect with your inner thoughts and feelings without interruption or opposition. It’s hard to get used to at first, but doing things on my own has boosted my confidence and perception of myself so much.
- Pursue Your Hobbies!
-
Hanging onto your favorite hobbies is so important! Even though it’s hard to carry every single interest you had in high school into your transition to college, you don’t have to completely detach from them. If you liked playing basketball in high school, make an effort to watch the games in college. If you love to read, join a book club or challenge yourself to read new things. I love to draw, so I have a sketchbook even though I’m not a professional artist and not pursuing anything in the arts. These hobbies can be amazing stress relievers and great forms of self-expression in college. Just like Her Campus and my love for writing, there’s a club for almost all hobbies, and you can meet amazing people with the same interests as you.
- Keep In Touch!
-
Last but not least, try to stay in touch with important people in your life. It’s okay to still follow people from high school on Instagram if you’re interested in how they’re doing. It’s okay to reach out to an old friend, too! I’m not the biggest fan of FaceTime, but after a while, I realized that talking to my home friends on FaceTime brightened my day and made me a little less homesick. I make sure to talk to my family at least once a day, even if it’s just a short phone call because it keeps me grounded. Talking to people who I love and want to chat with me keeps me going and reminds me how I got to where I am. Keeping in contact with valuable people in your life does more wonders than you realize and helps in the short and long term in your 20s.
After all, I wouldn’t be where I am now without the amazing support of my friends and family. Starting college feels like fresh clay on a pottery turntable, and after all the reshapes and retries, things can turn out beautifully. It may take a long time and come with lots of trial and error, but in the end, you wouldn’t have gotten to where you are now without any bumps in the road. I hope wherever you are in life, you can eventually look back on the lessons you’ve uncovered thus far and feel gratitude because they make you who you are.