I feel so old. A few days ago, I met with my advisors and had a degree check. I found out I only have four more classes for my magazine major and another four classes left for my art history major–a lot less than I had originally thought. Besides needing a few other classes to get 120 credits, my college life will be finished in two short semesters–plus a summer session abroad.
My parents were delighted at the news, going on and on about how I can look into graduate school that much sooner and get a head start in the job market. Let’s face it, their biggest delight is the money that can remain in their bank account. While that’s all nice to think about, and I’m totally the go-getter type, I can’t help but feel like time has gone by way too quickly. Wasn’t I in high school just yesterday? People who meet me always think I look like a high schooler anyway. It’s hard to wrap my head around the idea of graduating in a little over a year–only a little harder than thinking about graduating in May like I thought I would.
Everyone always says these are the best years of your life, and they go quickly. Four years may seem like a long time in retrospect, but whoever came up with that saying was spot on and I hope they’re rolling in dough for sharing that information. This semester has flown by along with the last two years spent slaving away in the Newhouse labs to finish before deadline, racing across campus to make it to class in a ten minute gap, “studying” in Bird, and panicking over getting into the classes I needed for the semester. Just thinking about a year from now not having to make a new schedule or think about what to take home and what to leave behind for next semester is mind boggling.
By now I probably sound like a broken record, but this experience is already surreal even though I still have several semesters to go. Remember in high school when we all came down with senioritis and couldn’t wait to get out? In some ways, it’s exciting to think of the future, to really have my career and entire life not so far down the road from where I am now; soon enough, my life will no longer be dictated by tests or busy work assignments (that is, after grad school), and all the decisions I make come right down to my own instincts. At the same time, this idea is terrifying. I’m only 20, I still feel like a kid. The school structure is home in a sense, having been in school since I was 5 (I was totally too smart for pre-school). To leave it behind is a risk, a leap, a beginning.
We all know this day is coming, for some sooner than others. It’s an inevitable reality, which I thoroughly believe some people go get their PhD’s to avoid–some do it because they’re geniuses and want to go the extra mile, but there are definitely some people who just never want to leave school. Regardless of whether or not we’re ready, graduation is always upon us…us being the non-drop outs. We can choose to embrace it or avoid the truth: that we’re ready to be on the job hunt, face rejection, learn even more but in a different setting, make money (hopefully), pay bills and become the adult we often dreamed about.
We can’t be Peter Pans, but we can be Wendys who accept when it’s time to grow up and face our responsibilities. Graduating early or on time doesn’t make a difference in the long run. Whether it’s one semester or a few years away, we all face the same future of adulthood, and the sooner we take off from Neverland, the better it will be.