Throughout the course of the summer, I finally wrote back to a fourth-grade teacher who sent a card to me after my high school graduation. I never got a chance to respond until a year later. During my time at home, I had more time on my hands than ever. But now I am back on campus, and I am living with a friend during a time where we are spending more time in our rooms than ever.
Dear roommate,
I am sure that seeing this will make you nervous, but I hope I can assure you that I will say mostly nice things. I remember we decided to be roommates back in late December. When I was deciding on a new roommate, my biggest requirement was that they matched my sleep schedule. Well, considering how we stayed up talking about a Thought essay, you easily checked off that box. But overall, I wanted to live with a friend who I can talk to anything about.
We have not spent too much time on campus, but I am really glad that we naturally were able to make this room work for us. I think it is hard that we are put in a situation where we might not be able to get much space from each other. This is a really difficult time. We are in courses that keep us busy, and it is difficult to get work done when there are other things on our mind.
I will not lie. I do get frustrated at times. I am sure you feel the same way sometimes too. However, I am appreciative of our ability to communicate our thoughts little by little. Communication is so important even if we are seeing each other every day. We never know what is truly on someone’s mind. It is super hard to be real sometimes. It can be awkward because we are both in such a small space with each other. Yet, the more we can communicate how we feel, the more we can overcome that awkwardness. It just helps to be honest because it helps us grow trust.
Boundaries have definitely helped us as roommates. As friends, it is easy to say that we have to support each other. However, we do have to focus on ourselves because we cannot help each other if we are both feeling drained. Neither do I agree with using each other as a convenient “therapist” because that is unfair for both of us. As we are spending more time in the room, there is no escape from each other’s energy. I think we both hate bottling up emotions, and I do not recommend pushing aside our feelings. But we are both learning when we need our own space, and I am glad.
To my roommate, I hope you are doing well. This year has had its fair share of difficulties, to say the least. But we are doing the best we can to grow even when it is hard to try. We are going to get through all these obstacles somehow. I know the state of our mental health is not helpful, but I am proud of both of us. I have seen how we have slowly grown throughout this semester. I know you told me that you are feeling more confident than you were before. As for me, I am learning to embrace my self-worth because of all the conversations we’ve had.
We may not be perfect roommates, but we are helping each other learn and develop as individuals.
With love,
Your roommate