This week, I wanted to talk about something that I don’t usually talk about. Fears. Being afraid. Having a fear is like having a bug bite; as long as you don’t think about it you don’t notice it, but the second you scratch–even absentmindedly–it won’t go away.
My irrational fear of going blind, and therefore, fearing the dark, started when I was in 3rd grade. During a school field trip to the Indian Echo Caverns, the person in charge turned off the lights in the room we were in. Now, I didn’t scream, and I didn’t run like other kids; I started having a panic attack. I was still new to having glasses, and it suddenly occurred to me that I could go blind one day, and that day might happen without me knowing.
I can remember everything about that moment. How my breath stuttered. How I couldn’t breathe. How my skin went cold. How the person in charge said, “Can you see it?” and all I could whisper was, “No. No. No.”
I never thanked the person who grabbed my shoulders and spun me around so that I could see the light that was up above us. He kept me on my feet when the relief set in, and every time I’m in a place that’s a little too dark for me to handle, I think of that moment, of being grounded.
So this is for anyone who needs a little grounding right now. Midterms are coming up, so being overwhelmed and scared is perfectly normal. It’s okay to be afraid. But don’t let it freak you out, and don’t panic unnecessarily. You can do this.