Since turning 22, I feel wiser and more powerful than ever. Therefore, I want to share some of the wisdom I have been picking up along the way with my readership. Perhaps some of these pieces of wisdom should not technically be classified as wisdom, but it’s Pisces season so I’ll do whatever I want.
We find peace in unexpected places.
Recently, I returned to the school where I was a student teacher last semester to be a substitute teacher. Within about thirty minutes of being back at the school, word had spread to some of my students that Miss Sousa was back in the building. Standing in the cafeteria on lunch duty in my J. Crew plaid, monitoring adolescent riff-raff, I heard voices shouting “MiSs sOuSa” while running down the stairs. When I turned around, it happened to be my beloved Trouble Twins. That is a term of endearment, by the way.
To provide some context, the Trouble Twins are two students I had in American Literature who always looked like they were up to mischief. I would tell them that I knew they were up to something and that I did not want to know what it was, but I just wanted it to be noted that I knew. I would also send them emails with the subject line “please return” after they had left the room for more than 5 minutes and I knew they were taking a stroll, which we lovingly referred to as a “meditation walk.” Within thirty seconds of receiving my email, they would return to the classroom. They were also big fans of the stamp I would use on students’ worksheets, which was in the shape of little kissy lips.
When the Trouble Twins appeared in the cafeteria, they immediately wanted to know what I will be doing next year and whether there is a possibility that I will be working at their school. Coincidentally, I had just finalized my plans for next year, which was giving me a case of the stomach flips. I had signed by the dotted line.
Once I shared my news with the Trouble Twins, they gave me a big hype-up speech. Maybe they could sense the fear coming off me, so they thought it would be best to provide me with some words of affirmation.
Poet Morgan Harper Nichols says that we find peace in unexpected places. I found it by sharing my big news with the Trouble Twins in the Oliver Ames cafeteria.
In case you are wondering, the big news is…
Miss Sousa is going to Woburn.
Sometimes we may be forced to dance.
One Friday night, a few of my friends and I decided to venture into the big city and go to a Boston bar. We were dancing and having a great time when all of a sudden a man who appeared to be around our age wanted to join our little circle and dance with us. We shall call him Benoit because of his French accent. He kept wanting us to copy his little dance moves, which I did not do because I am much more of a solo artist.
Eventually, Benoit looked over at me and said in his French accent, “You are the most beautiful, but the most shy.” I felt like telling Benoit that I don’t know if I would say shy, but before I could, he grabbed my hand and started yelling “SPIN! SPIN!” Apparently, Benoit wanted me to perform the Argentine Tango with him in the middle of Scholar’s. I went along with the spins to be polite, but when he suggested a dip, I had to tell Benoit that I am not a ballroom dancer. He looked a little defeated walking away, but I am not a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.
Goodnight Benoit.
Doing something a million times does not always reduce the probability of error.
This past Sunday, I led the music for a Sunday mass here at Stonehill for the last time. After leading the music a bunch of times during my college career, I figured this mass would feel as if I was in cruise control. That did not turn out to be the case.
Before I had to start a new song, I went up to receive Communion. The priest must not have completely rubbed in the Purell he had just put on his hands before giving me Communion because when I went to place the wafer in my mouth, it tasted like rubbing alcohol. The combination of rubbing alcohol and pure surprise made me almost choke into the microphone despite my attempt to conceal it. I did not know pain until receiving Communion laced with Purell.
While it was practically burning my esophagus, I went to sing the first note of the song, which was a flop. Luckily, my vocal cords adjusted to the turbulence quickly and the rest of the song was a success. However, it did raise the question: Would it truly be an Erin Sousa singing moment if something either awkward or unexpected did not happen? I think not.
When you decide it’s time to get back out there, run out onto the field.
Recently, I decided it is time for me to get back out there! Once the whole incident of last semester occurred, I just stopped replying to anyone I had been talking to prior. The men probably thought I had perished or something. I disappeared! Vanished!
While it was perhaps a bit odd for me to vanish like that, I think it was a smart decision for me to take a break from talking to anyone as a way of protecting myself. If anything else had gone dramatically wrong in that department of my life I don’t think I would have been able to deal with it, so it was a good way to protect myself and recover. Now, I am ready to get back out there and see what I’ve missed!
I kept going back and forth about whether I was ready to get back out there, but I realized it was time to take the leap and get back to business. I must say that it was truly humbling replying to a Snapchat that I had opened 22 weeks ago since I figured the probability of receiving a response was low. While I am not the fastest replier, even 22 weeks is a long time for me. However, to my surprise, I received a pleasant response in return. Perhaps there is something to taking a little bit of a risk.
Therefore, I am off the bench and back out on the field.
Catch me playing “Bring Em Out” by T.I. on loop.