As I sit down in my desk chair, crack my knuckles and stretch out my arms in preparation to write this article, I am baffled by the idea that it has already been a month since I moved into Stonehill College. My freshman year of college has not been the “norm.” I began my college life at UNH just a handful of months ago, but for many more reasons than one, I decided that it wasn’t the place for me. I needed to look elsewhere to better my mental health. I found solace in Stonehill College, and after I officially submitted to the NCAA that I was transferring (as I am a soccer player), I never looked back.
Before I moved in for preseason at UNH back in August, my parents stressed to me the importance of “making the most of college.” At the time, what that meant to me was strictly academics. You should know that I went to a prestigious private high school in Massachusetts, so I dealt with many comments and judgments as to why I chose a public state university, whereas half of my grade went to an Ivy or NESCAC. While soccer was primarily the reason for my commitment to UNH, I personally never understood the stigma around state schools. Growing up, my parents were firm about doing well in school and participating in lots of extracurriculars, but most important to them was ensuring that my brothers and I had well-rounded educational experiences and “made the most of a college experience.” As long as we worked our hardest in all aspects of our lives, the title of a school never mattered to me or my parents. I thought that I could obtain that college experience at UNH, but I was incorrect.
In just the few weeks I have been at Stonehill, I have grown to understand what my parents mean with their famous saying. I have found an importance of branching out to those who you may not initially think will be your friends, going to events even when you are starting to feel a little tired, and just ultimately finding people who will bring out the best side to you. At UNH, I found it hard to make friends outside of the soccer team, and that resulted as a part of my unhappiness with the school. Don’t get me wrong, I walked away from the school with two great friends for life, but I have learned that in order to obtain a complete college experience, you should branch out to those outside of your immediate circle. I have gotten close with some girls in my Stonehill dorm hall, girls in my classes, and I have reached out to other athletes outside of soccer. I have definitely noticed a difference in my mental health when I started reaching out to all kinds of people around me. My happiness has peaked, and I credit that to meeting different people because different communities within a school have different perspectives and experiences to share.
Additionally, I am not the most social person. There is definitely a battery running inside of me that knows when it’s time to shut off and take some alone time. While that is definitely important and healthy, I take pride in having attended different events here at Stonehill. I have joined two clubs, become an avid Stonehill basketball fan, and I have even participated in the infamous Stonehill Bingo. These three things alone were not a part of my UNH experience, and again, I find myself so grateful for having branched out and seeing what this school has to offer.
Finally, I have truly found the people that make me happiest. The girls on the team have been so kind and welcoming to me. Not only that, but I enjoy playing soccer again. I look forward to pulling up my socks, tying my hair back, and packing my bag knowing I have practice later in the day. I have fully committed to my passions again, something that for quite some time I was lacking in my life.
I share with you this article not to gloat about my character arc (though I am proud to announce to those I meet how happy I am to be here at Stonehill), but rather to help those who may be in a similar situation where expectations don’t go according to plan. It is okay to change things up, if that will make you have the best college experience. I urge you to put yourself out there, make all kinds of friends, and explore any interest at all. Just a couple of months ago, I hit rock bottom. A college experience is not about the name of a school or the grades on a paper. I’ve learned there is so much more to college life, and the people around me are the mirrors into this philosophy.