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Patton Jones ’14

Track-star, frat-stud and momma’s boy—this Campus Cutie is almost too good to be true. Oh yeah, and he loves philosophy and French movies. To prove guys like this really do exist, I got to know sophomore Patton Jones.


Name: Patton Jones

Hometown: Austin, Texas
Sport: Track and Field (Long Jump)

Major: If I had to decide tomorrow—International Relations. I think…
Activities/Interests: Skateboarding (well, learning), visiting family in SanFran and watching French movies.
Oh la la, French movies! Explain…
Well, I took French at Stanford. There were 18 students in the class—17 girls and me. First good thing about that.
Favorite quality in a girl?
Celeb crush?
Melanie Laurent.
She’s a French actress.
(Of course.)
Best way to your heart?

A turkey sandwich. Gotta cut off the crust and slice it in half. I’ve probably eaten at least 10,000. My 8th grade girlfriend made me a sandwich plate.
What about you surprises people?
I have 13 siblings. Takes a lot of explaining.
Deepest Fear?
 Not being one with my shadow.
(Uhh… *See Carl Jung)
Signature dance move?
The bumble bee!
What the heck is that?
 I stole it from a girl in my high school. *Immediately stands up and does a synchronized booty shake/torso twist*
(He gave a great demo; ask him about it sometime.)
Pet you would never own?
Any reptile.
Why not?
They don’t have a limbic system like cats and dogs, so they can’t communicate with us. That’s where they’re so freaky.
Worst job you've ever had?
Working for my brother’s construction company.
What’s so bad about that? I mean, aside from obvious reasons…
 Lifting stones and broken rocks in 115 degree Texas heat. Not so fun. The guys I worked with were insane. I can curse like a sailor in Spanish now though.
And now for a slew of favorites…
Favorite Movie:
“Count of Monte Cristo”
Favorite Song:
Current favorite is “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye.
Favorite Food:
I would say Dip N’ Dots, but they just went out of business. Even better though, like, the best: scones with clotted cream and strawberry jam.
Is that like a London thing?
 Yeah that with tea or pie. It’s the bomb.
Favorite spot on Stanford campus:
Anywhere my bed is.
Favorite thing about the long jump:
Right when I get to the penultimate I pretty much forget everything. When you do it right you feel weightless. You just gotta find your rhythm.
Favorite person (hoping he’d say me…):
My mom.

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