It’s strange to go back to the place you called “home” for years and feel like a visitor. Everyone wants to see you, to hear about school, to tell you how much they’ve missed you. You’re happy to be back, but you find yourself comparing what you have at home to what you’ve found on campus. Visiting old friends gets tricky when you’re missing all your new ones. Seeing family is difficult when you’re listening to all the inside jokes they’ve acquired while you were away. Plus, there’s something about living out of a suitcase in a room you used to call your own that’s downright heartbreaking.
My freshman year fall break taught me a lesson: there are always going to be parts of your heart that aren’t with you, and there’s always going to be part of you that wishes you were somewhere else. Don’t get me wrong, I love being at home, sleeping in a bed that isn’t twin-sized, and seeing my family (and my dog). But I also love walking across campus for breakfast on Saturday mornings, spending time with the amazing people I’ve met, and constantly having something to do. I’m learning that a big part of college life is that no matter where you are, you’re missing somewhere else. I get homesick when I’m at school, but if there’s such a thing as “school-sickness,” you can diagnose me right now.
When you live on a campus as beautiful as mine, it’s not hard to feel at home. When the community at your school is as welcoming as mine, it’s hard to say goodbye (even if it’s only for a few days). When the friends you’ve made at school are as incredible, interesting, and hilarious as mine, it’s hard to be apart. When your college feels like home, it’s hard to imagine wanting to be anywhere else… until you’re in your hometown and you can’t imagine leaving again.
Laughing with your high school friends again feels like a homecoming in itself; they already know everything about you, and your new stories are just blank pages waiting to be filled in. Seeing your family members for the first time in weeks is overwhelming in the best way possible. Sure, they all ask you a million questions, but you find yourself answering them with more patience than you ever would have before. Although, it can get a little rough when Grandma asks you to tell [insert relative’s name] about “that cute boy you posted a picture with last week.”
As a college freshman, you’re learning a few things about balance. Balancing time, balancing school and fun, balancing friends and relationships, and most importantly, balancing your past and your future. The new relationships you’re forming are important, but so are the ones you left behind. Making your residence halls feel like home is essential, but so is the home you left behind. College is about change, but you can’t forget the things that made you who you are.
So, Fall Break, thank you for teaching me that it’s okay to always feel like a part of me belongs somewhere else. The truth is: a part of me is with every place, every person, and everything I’ve ever loved. College is just an opportunity to love a little more.
Sincerely,
A Freshman.