An ordinary college Sunday is pretty standard for my friend group: sleep in, go to brunch, study, eat dinner then go to bed. A couple of Sundays ago, my roommate and I decided to splurge and not go to the college café, we deserved Panera after a hard week. First tip, Panera is always worth it! My roommate, Sarah, and I ordered our brunch and proceeded to sit in a booth to start our homework. I stood up to go charge my computer and as I rose we both heard a sobbing phone call ensue.
As I was standing, I peered over to see what was going on with the sad person behind me. She looked to be about 16 or 17, a cute little blonde girl wearing a sweatshirt with leggings. As any normal person, I didn’t continue to stare for fear of being nosy or embarrassing her. When I was on my way back to my booth I noticed she had hung up the phone and was crying even harder. I looked at my roommate and said, “Think I should go check on her?” Without hesitation, she replies “Yes”. If you know Sarah and I, you know we’re a little awkward with handling emotions and not great with small talk but for some reason we both knew we should help.
I walked over to the girl and introduced myself, telling her I was a college student at SVC, played volleyball, ya know … the generic intro. I proceeded to ask her if she was alright. She kind of brushed me off at first but there was something telling me not to leave this girl sitting there alone crying. I said, “I obviously don’t know what you’re going through but I am sure everything will work out and get better eventually”. She just started crying even more. I asked her if she was with anyone and she barely uttered, “No, I’m alone”. So, I replied, “How old are you?”. She tells me she is 13 years old and was planning on meeting her friends here. They had plans to go shopping and to lunch. She requested that her mom drop her off early because she didn’t want to be the last one there. When she texted her friends letting them know she was at Panera they sent her a picture of them at a pool, flipping her off and saying vulgar things. As she showed me the picture, I literally saw her shatter. How do you respond to this? How do you make a total stranger feel better? How do you explain that she doesn’t know this yet, but you know she will be okay and things will be alright?
There is a fine line between helping and hurting in a situation like this. You don’t want to smother the person who is shattered, but at the same time you want to give them the biggest hug and welcome them into your friend group. This is a long winded way of getting to my main point. Girls, this message is for you. BE NICE. BE NICE. BE NICE. Coming from a family of 3 girls, we have had our fair share of being left out, feeling imperfect and feeling shattered. But, the good thing is you will always come out of it…but most of the time you will need the help of friends and family.
Girls, we’ve all been left out. If you haven’t, you’re either lying to yourself or you’ve left someone else out. You’re never too busy to help someone. In the future let’s be inclusive. Let’s be nice. Let’s be helpful. Let’s give girl guidance to our younger people to help them grow!
HCXO,
Hannah