If you asked me for 2 words to describe my family I’d shout “ROAD TRIP!” In fact, when I get home this summer, if my family yells ROAD TRIP, I’m in! Road trips aren’t about being able to say, “oh yeah I’ve been there.” They are about spending time together, discussing easy and difficult topics, trying new things, laughing, sometimes arguing, making some crazy memories and really getting to know each other. It doesn’t really matter where you go, it’s who you go with that makes the road trip worthwhile.
When we were very young, our road trips were short and included a packed lunch, a diaper bag and a few favorite toys as we headed off to find a new beach to explore or the perfect location to watch the sun set. When we were a little older the road trips involved bicycles hanging off the back of the car, hotels and history lessons as we toured places like Washington DC. Slowly these road trips evolved into our family mission – to see all 50 states. Oh, this might seem like a blissful adventure with everyone singing and laughing but the harsh reality is that this goal has caused us to drive too many hours, squished in a car, arguing over the volume of the radio or who must now sit in the middle. Of course there have been some breathtaking scenes, some destinations have been disappointing, like driving 15 hours only to realize that the picturesque island in Michigan is also bat infested, or that the well-advertised Potato Museum in Idaho really is just one very large, plastic picture of a potato, or come on – does Iowa have anything besides corn? But these unexpected, and sometimes disappointing moments, are when my family has taught me the most valuable lessons.
My mom taught me you should ALWAYS drive the extra 3, 4, or 12 hours because you might never get that chance again. How will you know what you missed if you don’t try? And heck, so what if the potato museum is just a big plastic sign – better get a picture in front of that 10-foot baked potato because no one is going to believe this without proof. And, though we saw Yellowstone and Old Faithful on that trip, we talk about that Potato Museum the most. Because with that one detour, my mom taught me to live in the moment, make the best of what life hands you and that you are in control of you own happiness. You know, we are all laughing in that Potato Museum picture.
My dad taught me that everyone should take time to regroup and relax. He was always the driver, the loan male in a carful of women. So, after a long journey when we were all ready to spill out of the car and finally tackle the great adventure that was awaiting, he would quietly drift off for a little alone time, to let go of the stress of the drive. He was always willing to do what we wanted, he just needed a little space first. My mom understood this and so would take us to the pool or a tour of the grounds while my dad had a peaceful moment. With these moments my dad taught me that asking for a quiet moment is not selfish, it’s requesting what you need so you can be a better part of the team later. So, if you need to take a moment to watch a football game or grab a beer with the locals, do it!
My older sister, Sarah, taught me that NOTHING should stop you. If you want to do something, DO IT! She had a broken leg in Wyoming and not only joined the white water rafting in the rapids trip, she was the first one to jump into the water (after the guide assured my mom she would be safe and he would rescue her if necessary). In college Sarah did her own road trips all over Europe and taught me that if you can afford it, spend it! Ride a horse on the beach or go night sledding in the Alps. There is no limit to what you can do if you are willing to just dive in.
My little sister, Alicia, taught me that age doesn’t stop you. Just because you are younger doesn’t mean you can’t hang, but it might mean you need to work a little harder. In Maui we finally convinced my mom to let us jump off a waterfall. Alicia was nervous and hesitated but with a little sisterly encouragement she closed her eyes and jumped. We were all shocked. When we asked her where she found the courage she simply said, “I only had this one chance and I didn’t want to go home saying I didn’t try.” In that moment she taught me to let go of fear, trust that those you love will not steer you wrong and to believe in yourself.
So, there you have it. Road trips are not really about where you go or how far you go. They are about committing to spend time together, getting to know each other, understanding the changes that are happening in everyone’s lives and being open to new experiences. When we get together and talk about our family road trips, I realize we rarely mention the details of the itinerary or the specifics of the accommodations. Instead we tell the stories of what happened, usually interrupted by uproarious laughter as we reminisce, and it becomes so clear that it wasn’t about where we were or what we were doing, it was the fact we got to experience it together. Now that we are older, varying work schedules make taking these road trips a bit more difficult, but we have 13 more states to see so…….ROAD TRIP!