Masculinity is something that is looked at as the ideal for men. Men aspire to be masculine. However, what many people do not see and realize is how absolutely horrible and damaging the current idea of masculinity is to our young boys and men alive today. One upcoming documentary comes from the MissRepresentation project and is entitled The Mask You Live In. This documentary is a great tool used to address the subject of hypermasculinity. The link is here so please watch it.
As this trailer introduces, there is a problem with American masculinity, as it does not allow young boys and men to feel secure in their masculinity. Males consistently have to prove that they are “men.” If their masculinity or manhood is ever challenged they must stand up for themselves and prove the challengers wrong. To do this, many boys or men decide to engage in physical violence because that’s what being a man is about, isn’t it? This is the problem: violence is no longer a virtue in the same way it may have been 2000 years ago. During the ancient Roman and Grecian times, men constantly fought wars and that was what being a man was. And even before this, 4,000 years ago when people were struggling to survive, it was necessary to fight and resort to violence to survive, but then why does it still continue even with our societal changes?
I believe this is the real problem: we are teaching our boys that to be “men” they need to act out in violence because some 2,000-4,000 years ago that was necessary for survival even though that is not the case now. We, as a society, need to realize that by creating an unrealistic standard for what manhood is we are damning our boys to a life where the constantly feel as though they have to “wear a mask,” as the trailer put it. Men and boys are not allowed to wear their emotions on their sleeve, or they are “pussies” aka a woman, the worst thing a man could be called. Men need to hide what they are really thinking and feeling or their manhood will be questioned.
Is it possible for men to redefine what manhood is? To rethink what it means to be a man and what should be expected from them as a man in this society? I would like to think this is possible, but we need to change our standards and how we reinforce these ideas of masculinity. We as a collective need to stop saying phrases like “boys don’t cry,” or “you throw like a girl,” or “man up.” The last in this list may be the worst, as it is consistently reinforcing that one needs to be more of a man and that one is never able to achieve this ideal. We need to tell our boys that they are allowed to have feelings. That they are allowed to cry when they are sad or upset, that they don’t have to be good at sports to be a man. That they are allowed to break these norms and do what they want outside of what society has historically said was unacceptable.
I believe we can achieve this change, but we need to decide that this is exactly what we as a society want to do. Anything is possible when people put their minds to it and decide to make a change for the better.
Photo Credit: Mask You Live In