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Sex + Relationships

What Makes a Long Distance Relationship Work

“Long Distance Relationships Will Kill You.” -Nat Wolff

What needs to be addressed before this begins, is this is literally no one’s top choice. If you are unsure what you got yourself into, well this is about long distance relationships. So here is a small tale about my long distance relationship.

I get asked all of the time, how do you guys do it? All I can think is what, what am I doing? And, I come to the sudden realization that they are referencing my relationship. I have been dating my boyfriend for about two years now and most of it has been long distance. We began dating his Senior year and my Sophomore year, only living in the same state for about three months.

I will say this now, relationships are not for the weak, nor for those who do not have a decent relationship with themselves. My relationship is hard, it takes consistent communication and I mean speaking to each other everyday, throughout the day. I am not saying you have to live up you partner’s a**, but you need to communicate with them. Communication makes people feel important and cared about, so if you are not showing someone that on a regular basis then it confuses your significant other. I love talking to my boyfriend, love the fact that he is curious and wants to know more about what my everyday is like.

However, when you are together, you have to be together. It is fine to fit in friends when you two are visiting each other, but you have to get the most out of your visit. My SO and I just like to lay with each other, feeding off of each other’s energy. The warmth of one another is pure and bliss. What amazes me is it genuinely does aide our connection to each other, it helps  in a way that transcends normal touch.

We always try to make time to see one another on a regular basis. It is important to fit regular visits in to see each other because yes not being able to touch your SO will drive you insane. Like I said above, laying with one another and doing nothing else will change you guys. Also, making one of a kind memories with your SO is a great way to connect with each other on another level. Spending quality time with each other instead of just going out for photo ops will strengthen your connection. My SO and I try to see each other once a month because it is as much as we can, living in different states makes for complications. The longest we have gone without seeing each other was about six months.

Lastly, you need to be open and I mean more open than you’ve ever been. If you are in an LDR then you definitely want your relationship to work. Being completely honest and vulnerable with your partner means for a better connection and understanding of one another. There is nothing better than having someone that knows you and will sympathize with you through everything. You nor they know no real pride because you are so comfortably yourself when you are around them.

Love is a powerful thing and can change the path of your life, so if you are in be all in. It may sound cliche, but absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

London-Calderon is a Senior at St. John's University and is EIC for the chapter. She spends her time writing, listening to music and working on several unfinished books. When she graduates she plans on going into the workforce and reporting for a publication. She is also an intern at Newsday Media. 
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