To distinguish sexual racism and simply having a type let’s start with defining what “having a type” actually means. Having a type is not necessarily a bad thing and it doesn’t make someone a racist. Being attracted to a certain type of person can go beyond race and ethnicity. It isn’t necessarily a racial preference. Having a type is very common and normal. It means that we are just drawn to certain characteristics in a person which can be based on looks or personality. Many factors affect our type. Whom we are attracted to has a lot to do with our environment and our childhood. How we are raised, media, our friends, where we live are all factors that can affect what kind of people we are drawn to. Even though having a type is normal, we have to be aware of what kinds of characteristics we are attracted to in a person. Many times, growing up in a certain environment can make us very biased towards people. Once our preference becomes discrimination then it is sexual racism. Many people don’t find certain races/ethnicities attractive due to biases and stereotypes we hold. Even though people argue that whom we date is our choice, it is crucial to remember there are systemic causes that affect our decision.
Many times, what we tend to find physically attractive is based on what we are familiar with. The media affects what we view as attractive. This can have a negative impact because a lot of time there isn’t much cultural representation and representation of people of color in American media.
Growing up, in a predominantly white town was very difficult because I was one of the only kids of color at my school. It didn’t help that there was no representation of South Asian girls in the media. The shows I watched on T.V didn’t have characters/actresses who looked like me and reminded me of myself. I felt as if I wasn’t beautiful and I thought there was something wrong with me. Growing up, even as a person of color I viewed white people to be more attractive because they were who I was most familiar with and who were represented in the media. This proves how we are attracted to cultural familiarity.
Being one of the only kids of color at my high school, I felt like I wasn’t datable due to the color of my skin. It was very difficult to date due to my race. Many times, people would try to compliment me saying things like “you’re very beautiful for an Indian girl” or “you have very exotic features”. Although these were supposed to be compliments, they would make me feel unattractive and different. I felt unwanted and undateable.
It’s normal to have a type and it’s understandable to be attracted to familiarity. When you’re with someone who was raised in a similar environment with similar experiences, it feels easy and comfortable. However, it’s never okay to discriminate. We should be aware of being open-minded to being with different types of people. Sticking to one “type” can be very unhealthy. Being with different types of people opens us up to new experiences and different perspectives. People of color should feel wanted and represented. All races are beautiful and deserve appreciation and respect.