Thanksgiving is the time of year when you think of all the things in your life that you’re thankful for. Often this list includes family and family friends, though you may not realize it when you’re in the middle of the annual gathering of relatives from near and far. But some of us have crazy families. Here are some Do’s and Don’ts when you are with your family on Thanksgiving.
Do’s
Prepare to deflect and guide the conversation
Every family has the same topics of conversation during gatherings. On Thanksgiving, many of the questions that you will be asked will be by well-meaning relatives. Just prepare yourself for the conversations with those relatives who tend to say things that get under your skin One effective way to do this is to arm yourself with a few responses and diversions. For example, if one of your aunts and uncles keep asking you why you do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, one way to deflect this is to say “No, I am not currently dating anyone. I have not found a person who measures up to Dad/ Mom or Grandpa/ Grandma.” From personal experience, that deflection is a successful. When they talk to you about a terrifying person in the White House, like Donald Trump, the best response is to calmly say “Oh, you feel that way about the President do you? How interesting,” and continue on to distract them by complimenting a part of their outfit.They will tend to forget that they even started talking about politics.
Find co-conspirators/ spend time with the little kids in your family (if there are any)
This one is one that I resort to a lot. When I was little, my older cousins used to confide in me, and now we all confide in each other, though I am still the youngest. Finding family members that feel the same way as you or ones you can relate to is crucial to survive the countless hours of family gatherings. For example, whenever I have Thanksgiving with my dad’s side of the family, it is always full of twists and turns, both good and bad. I usually confide in my seven cousins, have lots of laughs, and get closer each holiday On the other side of my family, I confide in all of the little kids. They are always so interesting and attach themselves to me. They can make me laugh with their comments about people or things, they are adorable, and they can get you out of any situation. If someone asks you to talk to them, you can say “I’m sorry I am playing with the baby right now.”
Humor is a great tension reliever or put the game on
Laughter seems to be the best medicine for many things, especially at family gatherings. Humor is known to be an amazing mechanism to deal with stress and tension. Jokes and witty conversation can make you feel closer to the people around you. Humor will cut through the tension and make the gathering a little better. Keep the atmosphere around your Thanksgiving gathering positive and full of laughter. It’s difficult to laugh and be upset at the same time. If laughing off some tension is not for you and you want to go the more subtle route, just put the football game on What is more American than football on Thanksgiving? Putting the game on will help you feel less tense or awkward at your family gathering This will naturally split your family into two groups: those who love football and those who do not. Join the group that fits you best because the people who do not love football are in the same boat as you and want to escape awkward situations, too.
Don’ts
Don’t get hammered
Having a drink or two is a good way to keep positive vibes, but one too many drinks could spell disaster. Being drunk makes it more difficult to handle frustrations and could cause you to behave differently than you would if you weren’t under the influence.
Don’t instigate or agitate any potential disagreements
Remember that this is a family function. Do everything in your power to help keep a positive mindset even if other people forget to do so. That way if something does pop off, at least it wasn’t your fault. Especially avoid the topic of politics, it will add more tension to the dinner and family gathering.
I hope that these tips help you manage Thanksgiving, and Happy Holidays!