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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at St. John's chapter.

I knew it was going to be a different vibe in college compared to high school, being a virgin *GASPS*. Yes, I know, I am a virgin. My relationship with sex has been pretty complicated throughout my entire high school life and even until now. I grew up in a household where boys, being in a relationship, and sex should be out of the question because I should be focusing on my grades. On top of that, my family is Roman Catholic, so abstinence is a big thing for me. I’ve constantly been reminded of saving myself until I get married, so it’s been drilled into my brain. 

I was pretty much mentally prepared for people’s responses when I eventually tell them that I’m a virgin. Society has these stupid double standards for women that virgins are prudes and people who aren’t are sluts. The usual response I get is a shock, because I “look like I don’t,” whatever that means. Sometimes the response I get is, “I could never do that, but good for you,” or “That’s cute.” Both are condescending but, I didn’t have THAT bad of an experience. My friends have been supportive and don’t make a big deal out of it. 

I’m not gonna lie, I more or less just felt the pressure. Not by other people, but from myself for losing my virginity. It’s a constant internal conflict to either just get rid of it or not. Part of it has to do with that Catholic guilt that I’ve always had growing up, and the pressures of being in an atmosphere where hooking up is very common. At the end of the day, I have to remind myself that it is my body, so I could do whatever I want with it, to a certain extent. I knew that I didn’t want to wait for marriage to have sex but I want to do it with a person I really trust and love. For me, it’s a very intimate and special moment. You are actually connecting yourself to another person and are in a vulnerable position. 

Overall, all I can say is that people’s perspectives and views on virginity are different, and people should respect that. Being sex-positive is not only supporting people’s choice to have sex freely but also supporting the people who decide not to for whatever reason they want and they are not obligated to tell you. 


Izzy is a sophomore Journalism major at St. John's University. She is from San Jose, CA but recently moved to New York State. Izzy loves clothing and especially wearing fun colorful makeup. Izzy spends a lot of her time volunteering and helping others, as well as spending time with her family and friends. She also loves to cook and enjoys music, playing six self taught instruments.