There is an epidemic sweeping across the dating scene that no one is talking about. At first I thought it was just me, that something must be wrong with me, but then, in hushed tones, I started talking to other women and turns out it’s a phenomena women far and wide are experiencing, but not one can explain it.
Ghosting.
Let me explain and see if you start nodding along. So, you meet a cute boy (online or irl) you text all the time, you both put in the time and effort to communicate…a lot. Then the moment comes. He says the standard bullshit…something along the lines of “we should hangout sometime.” WTF does that mean? Is this you asking me out on a date? When? Where? What? You have cornered me into responding with a hollow “yeah we should!”… but then that’s it. I never hear from you again. No hangout. No sometime. You obviously did not think “we should” do anything. SO WHY DID YOU ASK?
Did you just need to hear “Yes” from a real girl to inflate your fragile masculine ego? I don’t understand it. Why bother to put in the effort if that’s all you wanted? Do you realize that if you actually meet the human girl in person you might get more than a text…what about some real human contact…possibly even sex!
It’s happened to me literally hundreds of times. (Yes, mother I interact with boys, I just can’t for the life of me get one to actually leave his cave, immerge into the sunlight and potentially look me in the eyes.) From “high pressure” high school dances to meeting me at What-A-Burger (I’ll buy your fries, just show up!), I just can’t get a human male to commit and show up. Okay, I can’t believe I’m actually admitting this, but… Hi, I’m Malia. I’m 20 years old and I’ve never been on a date. Now, I think I’m in the extreme minority with that one, and I do have to concede that a few times I have been asked on these “hang outs,” a couple times I’ve even shown up to dates, but that’s where it ends. Sidenote: when I’m inevitably stood up, pity from waiters has gotten me free breadsticks so.. and tbh bread>boys.
My nickname in highschool (which I fully supported) was “forever alone.” While I may be the extreme, I don’t think my story is un-relatable.
Is it all some cosmic joke? Am I asking too much? I don’t know. I can’t get a human male to respond long enough to ask them this.
I recently tested the theory with a Bumble interaction. I met a cutie who texted me paragraphs for days we had a promising back and forth and then came the “We should hang some time soon, get coffee.” I responded with “I’d love that! When?”
….
Spongebob narrator voice: “2,000 years later”
Nothing.
He must have been texting and driving, been so excited about my direct yes that he crashed. Or maybe like Stranger Things, he was sucked into the upside down…never to resurface again. I don’t know but here I am one step closer to arthritic thumbs with no hot coffee mug to soothe them.
I just can’t understand it though. If you have the answer let me know. Or don’t, I wouldn’t want you to over commit yourself.