If you’re an extroverted introvert like myself, you know this struggle well. If you’re not an extroverted introvert, then we might come across as a little hard to understand or you might even consider us to be contradictory. We’re not flaky, or unpredictable (even though it may seem that way). Hear us out. It’s hard to be someone who loves to be silly and loud around good friends, but still desperately need plenty of alone time to recharge. Take a moment to put yourself in the shoes of your extroverted introvert friend, I promise you they will appreciate it.
1. We can enjoy being around others without having much to say.
When we’re quiet around you–fear not. It’s probably because we feel very comfortable with you. Our recharging time is made up of quiet solitude; and if we can experience that with you, you must mean an awful lot to us. In group settings, our silence is not a sign of disinterest. Oftentimes, we enjoy just sitting back and watching the conversations unfold. Listening to those we care about interact with one another is something that we absolutely love.
2. We love our outgoing side.
Our close friends know this. When circumstances are right, we are loud, goofy, and silly. We’re not afraid to belt out our favorite tunes, or do a silly dance move when no music is playing. Just remember that we can’t stay like that forever. And please please please remember that just because one day we’re loud and silly and the next we’re quiet and reserved doesn’t mean something is necessarily wrong! It’s just how we function.
3. When needed, we can step up and bring our extroverted side to full light.
For my job as a resident assistant, I constantly need to call upon my extroverted side (even when I don’t want to). I stand on chairs and talk to large groups of people, with a smile on my face and without a hint of nervousness. I can talk to people I’ve just met in order to make sure they feel comfortable and at home. My extroverted side balanced with my introverted side makes it easy for me to understand all types of people.
4. Spending time in is oftentimes much more appealing than going out.
Nine times out of ten, we want to stay home with a cup of tea and a good book. (Okay, or some pizza and Netflix!) This is our time to reconnect with ourselves and build up the energy to do it all again tomorrow. Being alone is our safe haven. So don’t feel bad for us when we tell you that we’re not going out tonight. It’s not that we don’t have the option to, it’s that we’d much rather take this time for ourselves.
5. If we do manage to muster up the energy to go out, we’ll have an awesome time.
Give us some time to warm up to the situation (especially if there’s lots of people there that we don’t know) but once we’ve scoped it out, we’ll have a blast with our friends. This is where our extroverted side can shine! Even if we’re not being the loudest or the goofiest, it doesn’t mean we’re not glad that we came.
6. We oftentimes don’t have large friend groups.
It’s easy for us to float around and have friends in lots of different social groups, but we will usually have just a few people that are the nearest and dearest to our hearts. They’re the people we hang out with one on one, and the ones we spend the most of our time with. These intimate friendships mean the most to us because we feel the most comfortable around them, despite our energy level at that time.
7. Meeting new people? Sure! Just, give us a heads up so we can mentally prepare ourselves.
Meeting new people for us can be nerve wracking. Especially if it’s lots of new people at one time. We can get overwhelmed and it becomes easy for us to retreat into our metaphorical turtle shells. But if we care about you enough to take on this (sometimes ginormous) feat, we will do it to the best of our ability. Loved ones usually understand how hard this can be for us, and their small encouragements remind us that “we got this!” Slowly but surely, we ease out of our shell.
8. We second guess ourselves.
We never want to make people feel like we don’t want to be around them. But sometimes, a rejected invitation (or several) can really make it seem that way. And trust us, it makes us feel terrible. We sometimes wish we just weren’t the way we were.
Maybe this inside scoop has helped you to better understand a friend, family member, or even yourself. No matter who you are, you are valuable! It doesn’t matter what you need to do to recharge your own batteries. What matters is finding what works, and being comfortable in your own skin.