This article is for comedic purposes only
XOXO, Gossip Girl here, and boy, do I have some scandalous secrets to spill about the University of St Andrews. If you thought the Upper East Side was the epitome of drama, think again because this prestigious Scottish institution gives even the most dramatic moments of Manhattan’s elite a run for their money.
Just like the Upper East Side serves as the playground for the wealthy and powerful, St Andrews is the playground for Britain’s aristocracy and international jet-setters. Its historic cobblestone streets, picturesque coastline, and ancient university buildings are the perfect backdrop for intrigue and romance.
If you thought the debutante ball had the most exquisite high-fashion gowns, you haven’t been to a ball in St Andrews. The glitz and glam of floor-length gowns make a bystander’s jaw drop. From the Opening ball to the Welly ball, you will never miss a chance to party and do it in style.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of little J’s around dreaming of a high fashion career. Forget Paris fashion week; the fashion season in St Andrews lasts weeks and gives the little J’s a well-deserved stage for their looks. If you are lucky and important enough to secure a front-row seat at one of these fashion shows, you can drool over the shirtless Nate Archibalds that, during the day, would never be seen without a Ralph Lauren polo shirt.
Now, let’s dive into the juicy gossip that swirls around this campus faster than you can say “Queen B.” Overheard in St Andrews ruthlessly exposes the controversies of the student body and sometimes makes you question how on earth did some of these people actually make it into university. If you’re a Vanessa and too scared to face the facts- you send your sad romantic confessions into StFessdrews of Crushes … can’t bear the thought of being exposed by me, huh?
Let’s not forget about the romantic entanglements that rival those of Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. From clandestine rendezvous in Cathedral ruins to steamy PDA in the main library, relationship drama is the topic of the town, adding fuel to the ever-increasing scandals of the university.
But it’s not all fun and games at St Andrews. The pressure to succeed academically and socially can be overwhelming. From spending hours in the library to going out intermediary after and still making your 9 a.m. lecture, never underestimate the drive of these elitist students to enjoy themselves and make their parents proud.
Yet, despite it all, there’s something undeniably enchanting about St Andrews. Maybe it’s getting drunk at Charity Polo in April, or the scenic route of charming bookshops that decorate the streets; There’s a certain magic in the air that keeps drawing students back year after year.
So, if you’re a socialite, one of Blair’s minions, or an innocent, wide-eyed perspective student, remember this: at the University of St Andrews, not everyone can handle the hot flames of gossip that bubble within the stone walls of lecture halls and the array of real-life Blair Waldorfs in a constant battle for power – this university is not for the weak. Welcome to the world of academia, where the only rule is to survive – or get outplayed. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.