Relationships at university are complicated. Whether it’s one of true love or a one-night-stand you will never think about again, the university environment is a breeding ground for them all. Whilst all of these relationships are, of course, fun and exciting, they are also incredibly important in terms of growing up and becoming independent. By helping you learn about yourself, your likes, and your dislikes than almost anything else, relationships are integral in shaping you into the adult you want to become.
However, there are some types of companionship that complicate University life more than others. Whilst no relationship, no matter how badly it ends, is necessarily a mistake, here is some guidance on three common relationships, and the complexities that come with them at University.
The High School Sweethearts to University Couple Pipeline
The high school sweethearts trope is one romcoms can’t seem to get enough of, but it doesn’t always work out as perfectly as it does in the movies.
Free from the ties of home for the first time, not knowing anyone at university can be an incredibly liberating atmosphere in which to recreate and shape yourself. Naturally, maintaining an immediate relationship with someone from high school encroaches on these newfound freedoms, as your embarrassing stories and darkest secrets never stay as far away as you would like them to. You still exist as the familiar person from home to one another, even if this is the person you are trying to outgrow.
Couples in this situation should be wary of being in the same university friendship group, or else risk never experiencing freedom from one another, which, in worst-case scenario, can establish the foundations for an incredibly messy breakup. It also stops you from growing fully as an individual, no matter how hard you might try, making you forget what university is for in the first place.
Of course, this type of relationship isn’t inherently doomed. Balanced healthily, it can work, but once it stagnates your growth as a person, it might be worth reconsidering.
The “Situationship”
If you and the person you’re speaking to prefer to use the terms “casual” or “exclusive” in place of labels like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” then this one might be for you.
The infamous “situationship,” had to, naturally, make an appearance somewhere, since they are some of the most infatuating yet infuriating relationships (or not, as it would seem) out there.
Whilst you both say you’re happy with the casual, non-committal nature of your arrangement, in the worst- case scenario one of you is cursed to catch feelings while the other one strings you along by never making up their mind on where you stand.
Not only will this bore your flatmates and friends when you rehash every encounter you have with your “situationship” in minute-by-minute detail, but you will find yourself missing out on other people and opportunities because you’re focusing too intensely on someone who can’t see your true worth.
Whilst the situationship might be fun for a hot minute, as soon as feelings become involved from one side, it’s often best to cut it off.
“Flatcest”
This one might seem painfully obvious, however, it seems to be an all too tempting avenue that one too many students take and end up regretting. Whilst you might hit it off with a flatmate, the awkwardness that comes after sleeping together is invariably not worth it, especially if it doesn’t work out.
In this scenario, no matter how uncomfortable things might become, there is no chance of you avoiding your flatmate, whether it’s in the kitchen cooking or bumping into them awkwardly on their way out of the bathroom. Perhaps even more painful than this is the fact that there virtually no chance of you keeping it secret from your other flatmates. Try as you might, your flatmates will find out, and it is almost guaranteed that they will not let you out of their sight until you have revealed every excruciating detail to them.
If, against all odds, this one does work out, perhaps consider moving into different houses for the next year. It goes without saying that your flatmates’ absolute worst nightmare would be for the two of you to break up while living in the same house – that’s probably more awkward than a one-time thing and an uncomfortable encounter in the kitchen afterwards!
Takeaway
As with all relationships, none of these three scenarios have fixed terms or rules, and are all avenues of learning and growth, whether they end in happiness or despair. Even when your heart gets broken in the most devastating way, the most important thing is focusing on how things always get better, despite any regrets you might have. University is about being young, making mistakes and not being perfect all the time – and then laughing about it when the time is right. As long as you know your worth, communicate about everything, and stand your own ground, any type of university relationship, successful or not, can be extremely fulfilling and vital to your growth as a person.