The ‘Parents of Students at the University of St Andrews’ Facebook group welcomes with ‘This is not a group for the kids. they have their own. NO STUDENTS.’ Having bypassed this warning, I have been down the rabbit hole which contains hints and tips circulating between parents, whilst their YP (young person) is living it up in Fife. The forum is filled with predominantly anxious mothers and provides a source of information for incoming, current and former parents of St Andrews University students.
The age-old ‘helicopter parents’ can struggle to contain themselves, especially whilst their YPs are preparing to flee the nest. ‘Hovering’ parents placed in an online space with hundreds of others can inevitably provide overbearing results. Although seemingly well meant, it’s clear that certain parents may have ever so slightly too much time on their hands. A recent post saw an incoming parent full of concern that the world renowned Pier Walk may not occur this year due to storm repairs and asked ‘if any other parent had contacted the university to seek clarification on this issue’. This post was followed by a contributor keen to share that his daughter was attending the University in the footsteps of 8 family members and that the establishment ‘used to be a lesser known gem for Oxbridge rejects.’ What’s that I hear you ask, Who on earth let our parents loose on Facebook?
The majority of contributors to the Facebook group are writing from the US, which is hardly surprising after having packed off your beloved baby over 4 million miles away to College. Many American parents describe a ‘daunting’ application process when so much Visa and financial admin are involved, let alone the fact that many of them have never been to Scotland themselves. Luckily, experienced parents are on hand to provide targeted advice and to relay their own encounters of the process. One parent said, talking about her daughter, that ‘she could not be happier, her Dad and I are so thankful she took the big step to go’. Undoubtedly, positive words of encouragement can provide a huge comfort to parents far away from St Andrews.
Perhaps when your YP is feeling homesick or you’re missing them just a little bit extra, you’ll want to send them something, but perhaps not in the form of a package that needs to travel through customs. Parents from the Facebook group have provided numerous recommendations of local businesses which can provide assured special deliveries. Balgove Larder, a local (somewhat boutique) farm shop, offers a luxurious ‘snack package’ which can be hand delivered to any St Andrews address, the only downside being the cost of around £50. One contributor fell so in love with Balgove when she visited St Andrews that she gave a special mention to the rhubarb yoghurt and remains one of their most loyal customers, despite being from the USA. Another jumped on the Balgove bandwagon and said she loved being able to organise meal packages to be delivered to her daughter when she is ill at University and cannot make it to ‘the Market’.
Celebrating milestones far from home can be made easier with a comfort package from home or locally. Many parents who live abroad are often seeking others who may be visiting St Andrews at a closer date, and could squeeze something for their YP in a suitcase. Others may be looking for something convenient to organise delivery for over the phone. Whether it’s chocolates, flowers or a cake, you’ll be sure to find a recommendation for a quality assured service in the parents forum. One mum asked ‘can anyone recommend a good local (fabulous!) florist for a birthday delivery?!’ and within 5 minutes a – tested by parents – floral provider had been proposed. Another contributor shared that local cake company, The St Andrews Cake Co., had made a Noah Kahan record cake to match a gift of concert tickets – it seems no request is too big or too small! With endless matriculation, graduation or birthday dinner recommendations, or even those for a local spa, the St Andrews parents Facebook group provides a worthy service far beyond the capabilities of TripAdvisor.
Accommodation, as one of the university’s most contentious topics, allows parents to share their opinions and advice on the best ways to secure tenable housing. One mum shared that her daughter was looking for another second year girl to share a flat with and she matched with another parents daughter. Stories of success are commonplace, with others receiving invaluable advice about which Halls of Residence to preference from former parents’ tried and tested knowledge. On the flip side, accommodation for parents visiting in the form of hotels and Airbnb’s are often advertised and reviewed on the site, providing useful insight to those who may never have visited the coastal town.
If you’re looking for any specific service such as : ‘Need my students’ dress altered ASAP’ or ‘Babysitter needed in Airbnb tomorrow’, the ‘Parents of Students at the University of St Andrews’ Facebook group seems to have an answer to it all. Although I believe there will always be an element of ‘helicopter’ parenting – I was shocked to see one parent tracking both children and posting his surprise at them being in the main library together at the same time – students can take comfort in the fact that the parents finally have a place to voice their thoughts and concerns. It may all seem a bit much, but let’s just hope they’ve taken the hint. A Balgove ‘Snack Box’ might just turn up on your doorstep very soon.