Content warning: this column article mentions of sexual assault and spiking.
Social Pressures & Consent
Whether you are a new fresher or a postgraduate coming to university is a big change and a transition for us all, one way or another. One of the biggest changes when adjusting to the university lifestyle can be the drinking culture. Some may not drink over the summer holidays, have been underage until university, or simply do not want to drink at all. Handling social pressures with alcohol can be difficult, particularly if you do not feel comfortable drinking. This can become even more complicated when sexual relationships are involved. Her Campus is here to help you through this potentially difficult time.
The social pressure to drink at university can be a big one, and the most important thing to remember is that you should never let peer pressure or the fear of missing out force you into a situation that does not feel comfortable. Despite what you may be led to believe, you do not have to drink to have a good time at university. If you do want to drink, it’s always good to know your limits and look out for yourself and your friends. Remember that after a certain amount of alcohol, you may not be making informed decisions that you would be comfortable making when you are sober.
Similarly, there can be sexual pressures at university, particularly in the first few weeks or months of the academic year. Regardless of anybody else’s expectations, you do not need to do anything that you are not ready for. If you only feel comfortable with certain sexual activities, be clear with your partner about your expectations, and if they try to convince you to do anything that you said no to, the best thing to do is leave as safely as you can.
In Scotland, you are considered unable to give consent when alcohol or drugs affect your decision-making. This can be a vague rule to navigate for many people, so the most important thing is to make sure you feel safe in the situation, you are not being coerced into anything, and that you and your partner(s) consent to everything that is happening. Making sure that you have verbal consent may seem awkward at first, but it is the best way to keep everybody safe, both physically and mentally.
Always be prepared.
If you are planning on having sex, particularly during or after a night out, it is always best to be prepared ahead of time. Bring condoms or your preferred method of birth control with you, to be protected from STDs, STIs, and pregnancy (if that applies to you). STIs can spread through all forms of sex, and using contraception is protective for all genders. Furthermore, do not hesitate to ask your partner if they have recently been tested. While this is something that should always be disclosed, people do not always say so without prompting.
Remember that being pressured into having sex without protection, and lying about using contraception, is a form of sexual assault. If you feel safe doing so, leave any situation that makes you feel pressured or uncomfortable as soon as possible.
While St. Andrews does not have a sexual health clinic, you can order STI kits online from the NHS, the emergency contraceptive pill can be bought from Boots, and in case of an emergency or an assault, you can go to the A&E in Dundee for comprehensive testing.
What are some ways that you can keep yourself and your friends safe?
Always look out for one another. Staying in a group is one of the safest things that you can do, and it will allow you to keep an eye on your friends. If they look uncomfortable, enter the situation (if you feel safe doing so) and try to help them out. If they are in a dangerous situation, the presence of a friend is usually enough to deter the individual.
In the UK, there has been an increase in spiking incidents in the past year, particularly at universities and in university towns. If you leave your drink unattended, accept the £7 loss and buy yourself a new one. If anybody else is buying your drinks, make sure that you can see them the whole time. It’s always better to be overly cautious. You can also buy drink testing strip kits online to ensure that your drink has not been spiked.
If you believe that you or your friends have been spiked, call an ambulance immediately. It is important to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
Just be you.
Above all, trust yourself. You know your limits when it comes to alcohol and sex, and having the freedom to be yourself and explore your sexuality is one of the most important parts of a university experience.
In the case of an assault or rape, there are several directions you can take going forward. If you want to report an assault to the police, it is best to do this before you report anything to the university. There is also the option of reporting only to the university, or not reporting at all. If you do not feel comfortable reporting a sexual assault to the police or the university, consider the local charity FRASAC (Fife Rape and Sexual Assault Centre), which offers counselling services as well as the option to obtain a forensic examination without a police report. Furthermore, you always have the right to not report anything if you do not feel comfortable doing so.
The main takeaway from all of this is that you should not be pressured into doing anything you do not want to. However, if you are, there is support for you and there are people who will help you through your situation when you may need it. Above all, you are not alone, and your university experience is not designed to make you feel uncomfortable or anxious. We hope that with this information, you will go into your university experience with more confidence knowing these tips to stay safe and that there is help out there.