When I was seven, my friends consisted of the two girls who lived on my street, my cousins who I’d adopted as a second set of siblings, and a mixture of kids from my homeschool group and church. Little did I know that in just a few months, I’d be moving across the globe to Shanghai, China, where I would meet and befriend people not only from China but also from the U.S, New Zealand, Vanuatu (you might need a map for that one) and Brazil to name a few. I was pulled away from my life in downtown L.A. and found myself navigating cross-cultural relationships. While at times they can be complicated, international friendships are also uniquely bonding, beautiful, and such an adventure.
When I think of my friends in China, the word fast-paced comes to mind. Because of the unpredictable nature of international living, everything feels accelerated. In my case, which might have to do with the fact that I was still in elementary school, you jump into friendship quickly. The ever-looming chance that someone could move away is very real. Chances are if you’re living abroad you move a lot. This can create a sort of melancholy atmosphere, but it also pushes you to live in the moment with your friends.
International friendships can be some of the deepest friendships you’ll have. Sharing the unique experience of living abroad is something that bonds people together. I have amazing friendships here in the U.S., but when I talk about China it almost feels like a dream. I connect with my friends here in the U.S. on so many things, but at the same time, they just don’t know what it’s like living abroad. Sometimes that can feel isolating because this part of me that is so important is not relatable to them, not a shared experience. But when I talk with my friends who also lived in China, we can talk for hours reminiscing over stories that involve anything from funny cross-cultural moments to our experiences making friends back in the U.S. It’s not to say I don’t have a deep connection with people in the U.S.—it’s just that whenever I talk with someone I know from China, a deep yearning to have this part of my life reflected on and validated is satisfied.
Because of the unique bond international friendships create, they can be left to rest for years and then picked back up in a heartbeat. The summer before I started college, I had a mini-reunion with some of my friends from China. I hadn’t seen some of these girls since middle school, yet we instantly clicked as soon as we got together. I think it’s rare for friendships from middle school to last into adulthood, and I am truly convinced it’s because of our international bonding experience that we all are still connected. And we’ve already planned to have an even bigger reunion this summer.
International friends give you an excuse to travel more. They teach you about cultures and customs you’d otherwise never come across and make the world feel simultaneously so big and so small. It’s truly crazy the connections you’ll find halfway around the globe. While in China, I met a girl who was from the town my grandparents live in and I grew up visiting. This also was the town where I ended up going to high school. What’s even crazier is while I was considering SPU as an option for college, I met with someone in admissions who also grew up in Shanghai and graduated from the same international school I went to. These are the moments where the world does feel relatively small despite Seattle and Shanghai being almost 6,000 miles apart.