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man and woman kissing with balloons
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Changing the Narrative: Releasing Instead of Losing

Antonia Izuogu
Mary Chimezie
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Spelman chapter.

*Sigh* I never thought I would share my personal feelings to the world, especially in an article. But I felt like others could possibly relate to my experience and learn from them. So let’s begin… This article is about releasing negative people from your life. I was watching a Derrick Jaxn video on YouTube (Shout out to Derrick Jaxn!!!) He was explaining how “not every one you lose is a loss”. And I strongly agree with him. Jaxn was speaking in terms of romantic relationships but this also applies to friendships and any other relations you may have with people.

Personally, I have experienced “losing” negative people out of my life. I’ve never had a problem cutting people off but it’s not as easy for others. I remember in high school, I used to hang out with the same two girls all the time, primarily because we had the same class schedule. I labeled them as my friends but I started to notice over time, my mood around them became shifty. Some days, I would feel really happy when I was with them and other the days be filled with gloom. Usually, I’m a chill and relaxed person and really silly but I would allow them to bring my mood down when they would talk about innocent people or overly complain about things.  

So one day during lunch, I saw they had CookOut trays. I asked where was mine and they explained how they forgot about me and laughed it off. I’m from North Carolina and we do not play about our CookOut food! *laughs* Immediately, I told them I didn’t want to be their friend anymore. I had an epiphany that I didn’t mean as much as to them as I thought. After I ended my relationship with them, my grades improved and I was happier.

I am a firm believer that you truly find yourself over time, especially with the relationships I have fostered and ended over these years. Now, that I know how I react to negative people in my life and after releasing them, I feel more confident that I can never lose. Especially when I am making power moves for myself. I felt like someone needed to hear this and I hope it helps clarify somethings going on in your life!

Hey y’all! My name is Antonia Izuogu and I am the official photographer for the 2017-18 Spelman Her Campus organization. Enough with the titles and all, let’s get to more interesting facts… I hail from Raleigh, North Carolina. I have a twin sister who also attends Spelman College. And I am a first-year Health Sciences major with a minor in Public Health. Career-wise, my aspiration is to become a behavioral scientist in the public health field. But personally, I aspire to capture the happiness and joy in the environment around me and spread it to others. I joined Her Campus because I wanted to get more involved on campus, outside of my academic responsibilities. Oddly enough, when the member interest form for this year’s Spelman chapter was emailed to the Spelman Student Body, I was debating whether to buy a professional camera or not. The survey welcomed those interested in photography and other positions and this search drove me to invest in my happiness, photography. Plus, I used Her Campus as a tool to get a more social perspective of colleges. Her Campus gave me a more holistic look into Spelman, more than statistics and ranks could do. I would love to capture the atmosphere of Spelman through my photos to show to all of the wondering eyes on the Her Campus website.
Mary Chimezie

Spelman '18

I am a philosophy major, double minoring in economics and comparative women's studies at Spelman College, the #1 HBCU. I love gospel and Kanye (cue Ultralight Beam), painting, knitting, and a bunch of other things!