There you are. Standing in front of a mirror, making sure your hair and makeup are perfectly in place as you twirl around in your cute, new dress. You met him in class, and now it’s the night you’ve been waiting for from the moment he asked you on this date. You’re waiting for him to pull up in your driveway, meet you at the doorstep, shower you with kisses and a bouquet of perfectly primed roses then whisk you away for a romantic evening under the stars.
That’s the problem. You’re waiting for a fairytale. And let’s be honest, fairytales rarely exist. When it comes to dating, most guys haven’t mastered it quite yet. So, if you expect your dating experience to be magical and surreal, it’s time for me to bring you back down to reality. Until you meet your ideal guy (and you will someday), you are sure to run in to a few dating disasters.
The number one problem that women face out in dating world is expecting too much. It is 100% PERFECTLY okay to have standards. However, when you are too picky (meaning you ONLY want to date a Ryan Gosling clone) then chances are, you will be alone for the rest of your life. Hollywood does an excellent job of brainwashing women our age. We see what love is supposed to be like: perfect. But we don’t see what love is actually like: flawed. There is no perfect guy (Ryan Gosling is an exception) in this world. Sorry to break the bad news. You will come across heartbreak and disappointment as you date. There is no way around it. Make sure you understand realistically what you want from a relationship. Don’t settle for less, but don’t anticipate perfection. You aren’t perfect, and you shouldn’t expect someone else to be.
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If you have never been around the “bad guy” type before, let me go ahead and stress to you that’s a GOOD thing! These guys are only interested in one thing (sex), and if you don’t give that to him, you are thrown to the curb. Furthermore, they only want you around when it’s convenient for them, most likely because (at least in my experience) you aren’t the only girl they are going after. It took me three times to realize that a relationship with this type of guy will never work out. I didn’t give in to his pressures; he moved on.
Being rejected because of your morals is a hard thing to take. Especially when “your guy” quickly moves on to his next target. Just remember that standing up for something that you believe to be right is NEVER a bad thing. It does not make you stupid or unworthy of love. It should empower you! Besides, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t have the same values or morals as you?
Polar opposite of the “bad guy” is the “clingy” type. Relationships involving what I have dubbed “the cling” almost NEVER work out, and quite frankly, why would you want them to? These types of guys do not give you a hint of space. They always want to know exactly what you’re doing, whom you’re with, and when you will be free to hang out. Constantly updating someone of your whereabouts can be daunting and exhausting. As independent collegiettes, we shouldn’t have to offer up every detail of our lives to anyone. I have a very distinct memory of a high school “cling”, and let me assure you that it got old VERY fast. The relationship ended before it had even begun.
Unfortunately, I have seen more people than I can count on one hand that have settled for less than what they’d hoped for in a guy. The question is: WHY? You don’t have to stick around with someone who abuses you or degrades you just because you are afraid to be alone. I promise that somewhere out in this big, vast world there is someone who will treat you the way he should and respect you for who you are. Settling for less than that isn’t worth it.
In addition, there are collegiettes who can’t stand the idea of being single, and because of this they don’t stop dating. This is just as bad as settling in my opinion. If you haven’t taken the time to figure out who you are and what you want from a committed relationship, then how do you expect to ever figure that out if you are bouncing around from guy to guy. Take pride in your singleness! Use it to your advantage. Dating can be many things, but the most important thing to remember is that dating can NEVER be perfect. You will experience your ups and your downs. You will laugh. You will cry. You will get your heart broken, and you will feel disappointment. You will think you have it all figured out, and then you’ll realize that you didn’t have a clue.
However, despite all of those things, you will someday find YOUR perfect guy. By perfect, I mean the guy that always puts a smile on your face. The guy who listens to you and wishes the best for you. The guy who believes in you and encourages your dreams. The guy who admits his flaws and accepts yours. The guy who understands you, who makes YOU feel perfect. The guy who respects you and who shares the same values and beliefs as you. The guy who would do anything for you. I can assure you that once you find this guy, you’ll look back on your dating experiences, the good and bad, and understand why each of those experiences was worth it. Because they led you to YOUR perfect, “fairytale” of a guy.
Photo Credits:
Deja Loops
TimesUnion