Name: Shia Labeouf
Year: Third Year
Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Status: Single!
HCC: Why do you have a paper bag on your head?
Shia: I am not a cutie anymore.
HCC: Can I take the bag of?
Shia: [Starts crying, clutching the bag over his face with an open palm]
HCC: Why are you crying?
Shia: [Emits a high pitched wail] I am not a cutie anymore!
HCC: No don’t cry…
Shia: [Crying subsides into a dull sob]
HCC: Why don’t you tell us you’re craziest experience at Southampton University?
Shia: Realising I was campus cutie, but no one understands what that means to a guy. What it means…to a man.
HCC: Ok, tell us one thing about you that may surprise us:
Shia: [Resuming composure] I AM NOT A CUTIE ANYMORE!
HCC: Favourite quote?
Shia: “When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.” That’s Eric Cantona (French footballer).
HCC: Will you explain what any of this means?
Shia: [A long un-pretentious silence followed by an omniscient upward tilt of the chin and a corrugated brow] It is what it is.