Campus Cutie: Shia Labeouf

Name: Shia Labeouf

Year: Third Year                               

Hometown: Los Angeles, California        

Status: Single!

HCC: Why do you have a paper bag on your head?

Shia: I am not a cutie anymore.

HCC: Can I take the bag of?

Shia: [Starts crying, clutching the bag over his face with an open palm]

HCC: Why are you crying?

Shia: [Emits a high pitched wail] I am not a cutie anymore!

HCC: No don’t cry…

Shia: [Crying subsides into a dull sob]

HCC: Why don’t you tell us you’re craziest experience at Southampton University?

Shia: Realising I was campus cutie, but no one understands what that means to a guy. What it means…to a man.

HCC: Ok, tell us one thing about you that may surprise us:

Shia: [Resuming composure] I AM NOT A CUTIE ANYMORE!

HCC: Favourite quote?

Shia: "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea." That’s Eric Cantona (French footballer).

HCC: Will you explain what any of this means?

Shia: [A long un-pretentious silence followed by an omniscient upward tilt of the chin and a corrugated brow] It is what it is.