I have been absolutely blessed this year to participate in the Disney College Program. As one of the first articles about my experience, I wanted to combine two of my favorite things: Walt Disney World and the zodiac signs. That’s right folks, this is all about the signs as Walt Disney World rides!
I might be a little biased because Aquariuses like me are always last in the sequence, but I’m starting off with Capricorn since their birthdays are first every year. Capricorns, your maturity and responsibility gets on everyone’s nerves, but it’s okay because we still love you. This is why you’re totally Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. Waiting for the ride is super annoying, but once you finally get on, you totally love it. Much like meeting a Capricorn, you have to warm up to them first!
I promised not to pick my favorite ride for this one, but, things happen. To my fellow Aquarians, we’re known for our sarcastic way of life and not showing much emotion. That’s why we are totally Walt Disney Presents. Come on, this isn’t even a ride. It’s a literal walk through museum where you learn about Walt Disney’s creations and his life. Okay I lied, maybe I did pick my favorite, but what Aquarius doesn’t want to read about the logistics of the Walt Disney Company?
My sweet Pisces friends, you are either a child or the most mature adult I have ever met, so I’m obviously giving you It’s A Small World. This ride is a total classic, kids and adults both love it. Also, I’m totally sorry to those of you who have the song stuck in your head now.
My fiery Aries friends! Okay, literally, do you have to be so competitive? Thinking about the ride for all of you was so easy. It’s totally Toy Story Mania and you know it. Bring your competitive side out to play some fun games with Woody and all the other toys that Andy owns. Just try not to get bored of it, okay?
I can never figure out if the plural form of Taurus is Tauri? I’m going to just go with it. My Tauri friends, this one is kinda tough. I feel like you either want the to go on the best ride ever, or you just want to be at home. This is why you are totally a Flight of Passage match, which makes total sense for an Earth sign. This ride is the absolute best and it brings it! Take that, Tauri.
Here comes the twins…Geminis, you would be happy just talking to a wall. But, I also know that you love to laugh and crack some jokes. You belong on the Laugh Floor with my good friend Mike Wazowski! Something tells me you’ve got a good eye for jokes, totally pun intended. Unlike Roz, you’ll think the laugh meter is half full!
Oh Cancers, what are we crying about today? Sorry, that one was just a little too harsh. In that case, I give you the most comforting ride of them all: Peter Pan’s Flight. Who doesn’t love this ride? The wait is worth it, and no wonder it’s always eighty minutes. Flying to Neverland is one of the best journeys I’ve ever taken. Say hi to Tink for me!
Ugh, did someone start playing “You’re So Vain” or is there a Leo around? Hm, must just be a Leo. As an Aquarius, I’ve heard we’re total soulmates so I guess I’ll have to pair you with my favorite ride (sorry Walt Disney Presents). Welcome to the Jungle Cruise. You fiery signs know the show is about you, and I have no doubt that you’d be a Skipper as a cast member. First name Skipper, last name Leo. Go catch a Hippo for me!
I just feel like Virgos are 100% Test Track. I mean Test Track quite literally judges your car, much like a Virgo. Not to mention Test Track is so innovative. My mom’s a Virgo, and I’d choose nothing less than Test Track for my Virgo queen.
After Leo and Virgo, I feel like I can take a deep breath with one of my favorite air signs: Libra. I just feel like Libras really love fantasy, mainly because they are so in touch with reality that it doesn’t phase them like the rest of us (looking at you, Cancer). When I think of Libra, I totally associate them with Kilimanjaro Safaris. Out of the way, unproblematic and you get to see all the lovely animals.
There are no ifs, ands or buts about this one. Scorpios, you are quite literally the Haunted Mansion. Number one, I only associate you with three colors: black, green and purple. Number two, you never break character. Have you ever seen your ghost host break character? Didn’t think so. Happy haunts.
Sorry for leaving you last Sagittarius, but I hope you know you are my favorite sign (after Aquarius, of course). That’s why I left the best ride for you: Rise of the Resistance. This may or may not be in honor of my roommate, who is a Sagiattarius, but the rise is absolutely amazing. Sagittarius would want nothing more than to be totally extra about a ride, thus we have those annoying boarding groups that everyone wakes up at 6am for.
I don’t make the rules, but if I did it would be quite on brand for being an Aquarius. If you need me, I’ll be in Walt Disney presents tearing up at how much I love it here.