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Keys to Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

You always hear about how long distance relationships just don’t work in college: they’re not worth it, it’s just a waste of time. Some people may believe that, and for some it may be true. For others, a long distance relationship is worth going days, weeks, and months without seeing their SO. But the best person to listen to in this kind of situation is you. Your relationship is your relationship – not anyone else’s. Listening to other people’s advice is always okay. In fact, if you don’t ask other people every now and then you might get a little lost. The truth is when you are faced with the choice of staying in or leaving a long distance relationship, the choice is yours. Here are four things you should always think about when you are in a long distance relationship:

Are you both on the same page? Both of you have to want the same thing otherwise it won’t work out. This may seem like an obvious thing but this is where you really have to communicate. You and your SO need to define the relationship – i.e. will you have an “open” relationship, or will you be exclusive, will you see other people, and so on.

Caroline H., a sophomore at the University of South Carolina, believes that “if both people really want to make it work then it is definitely possible to get through anything. You both have to understand that your lives are going to be changing drastically and try not to get caught up on little things!” That being said, knowing where you stand and what you want helps you to understand what you feel.

Are you the kind of person who can ~do you~ with OR without an SO? There are a lot of great things about being in a long distance relationship, but it can also be hard to find a balance between doing things on your own and making the time to talk to your SO. Tension can start to build if one of you feels that the other is “too busy”.

Claire W., a freshman at the University of South Carolina, says that “you have to be able to give each other space and grow on your own during college, but still try to set aside time for them.” Finding a way to make time for yourself and make time for your partner can be hard, but if you want to make it work then you will find a way!     

Are you trusting and trustworthy? Trust issues are be the biggest detriments to every relationship – especially in the case of a long distance relationship. First of all, you need to be confident in your ability to trust your SO. If there is no trust, the relationship is going to be extremely difficult and will be an emotional roller coaster. Second, if you want to be able to trust your partner, you also need to be trustworthy. Trust others the way you want to be trusted! (The Golden Rule 2.0.)

Are you happy? Your happiness is of the utmost importance. If you are not happy then the relationship is not healthy. (Of course your partner’s happiness is important, too.) Ultimately, don’t let others tell you what to do or how you should feel in your relationship. If you are happy, then stick with it! 

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Sarah Westbrook

South Carolina

Sarah Westbrook is a senior at the University of South Carolina. She majors in Marketing with a minor in PR and Advertising, and hopes to one day open up a cupcake boutique. She loves baking, snuggling with dogs, watching Criminal Minds, and Carolina Game Days!!!
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