Things that every drunk betch does/thinks 1. Befriend random girls in the bathroom. “OMG, I love your boots.”2. Drunk text your ex and or crush and wake up mortified.3. Snapchat everything. Snapchat or it didn’t happen. 4. Tell your best friend how much you love her. “Literally obsessed with you like I can’t even.”5. Befriend your cab driver and make him take you to your favorite fast food restaurant. Drunk calories don’t count, right? 6. Ask, “what diet” when your five pizza slices deep, but make sure to throw out the box to hide the evidence! 7. Buy everyone shots because you’re suddenly super rich and don’t give a fu*k.8. Take a million selfies with your bestie. #duckface9. Dance all night because “OMG I love this song!” 10. SHOTS!!!11. Cry12. Fall13. Wake up with last night’s makeup on your face praying that you brought everything home, minus the tragic rando in all those selfies. 14. “I’m never drinking again…until next weekend.”