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There’s No Place Like Home…Bar: The 10 People You Meet on Thursdays

The final thursday afternoon classes let out and a wave of excitement washes over the SMU campus. Rebecca Black might get down on Fridays, but SMU students prefer Thursday nights. For the 21+ crowd, there is only one place to be found after the clock strikes 11 – The Green Elephant.Like any good definitive college bar, The Green Elephant, or more endearingly known as Homebar, is an eclectic mix of characters offset by cheap beer and carpeted floors. But be forewarned – Homebar is not for the feint of heart. The people you can expect to encounter on any given obscene Homebar Thursday can be broken down into 10 distinct characters:1. The Bar BFFsThey’ve never had a class together. They didn’t live in the same hall freshmen year. Honestly, they’re probably not even Facebook friends. However, come Thursday nights, these BFFs always zealously sprint across the bar to meet in an affectionate embrace. Their night is spent arm-in-arm reminiscing about past Thursdays (their only shared memories), insisting they share the bathroom stall and toasting to a lifetime of friendship (and alcoholism).2. The Party PooperSometimes you wonder why this person even made the effort to go out if they were going to put a damper on the night. The Party Pooper can be found most often sulking in a dark corner, taking lonely shots and dramatically slamming down the glass as they contemplate the unjust ways of the world. Or this Party Pooper can nix the superficial comfort of vodka and plop themselves on the infamous couch, arms folded and sneering at all who bask in Homebar’s glory.3. The Prince Charming (after a few shots)Each week you see him from across the room and question whether the queasiness in the pit of your stomach is lust or that last tequila shot. Despite the stigmas of college hookup culture, Prince Charming is an enduring schoolgirl crush that makes you giddy and nervous. Chances are that you and Prince Charming have never actually met because of your inability to perfectly balance liquid courage and blackout city. One day – one magical Thursday – your Prince Charming will whisk you away in an Uber off into the SMU Boulevard.4. The Dancing QueenYou know that overdone “dance like no one is watching” phrase that is plastered on everything from bumper stickers to senior yearbooks? Well that quote clearly made an impact on this Homebar staple. Sometimes this Dancing Queen will be on the only Beyonce wannabe commanding the stage, and other times she notes that her backup dancers have made an appearance. Either way, she (or occasionally he) has no qualms about tweaking what her mama gave her.5. The Blackout BetchOne moment they are the life of the party, the next they are sobbing uncontrollably (and unprovoked) in the bathroom stall. This emotionally complex character can wear many hats. They can insist on top shelf shots for everyone or they can find their calling on the dance floor. At times they’re flirty and lustful, but their temperament can take a turn for the worse as well. Unpredictable and uninhibited – approach this character with caution.6. The Shameless PDAsGet. A. Room. Seriously, it is not necessary to slobber on each other and block the bar, doorway, fire exits, etc. Their fiery passion is the last thing you want to bump into as you beeline to the bar. (You avoid the realization that you’ve definitely been in their shoes once or twice.) The other type of PDAs are even less tolerable. Having found love in the most  hopeless of places, these cutesy canoodlers enjoy nuzzling and holding hands amidst the inebriated jungle.7. The High-rollerThank you, elusive Gatsby-esque character. Your affinity for generosity never goes unnoticed.8. Freshmen FlashbackBlame Zephrys or mixer season or just plain freshmen naïvety, but everyone has at least one freshmen year hookup that retroactively makes them cringe. At a larger university you would be able to hide from that living mistake – but at SMU, Homebar ensures that you’ll never forget.9. Non-SMU, +25 Lurker         If you weren’t born in the 90s – GTFO.10. CourtneyA Homebar without Courtney is like Cinderella without her Fairy Godmother. A tight hug, name drop and wink will ensure you skip the line if Courtney is working the door. Just don’t be taken aback when you see Courtney in the real world, still clad in black on black.

Current SMU JuniorMajoring in Communications, Anthropology and Public Relations & Strategic CommunicationSister of Chi Omega Media Connector PR Intern at Golin Harris International Lover of Quentin Tarantino movies, grilled cheese sandwhiches, college basketball. corny motivational quotes and anything tye-dyeFeel free to email me at bsstrickla@smu.edu
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