Every once in awhile, light-hearted conversation will morph into something more serious, and the topic of regret will come up. I’ll be asked what I regret most in life, what things I wish had never happened to me or I wish I had never done, and what things I yearn I could take back. A couple years ago, I would have mulled over past mistakes; I would have been able to present an extensive list of things I regretted, from small embarrassing moments to more profound and life-changing events. But now, that list is empty.
We all make bad choices from time to time and we all have done things that we are not proud of. I am aware of the flaws in my own behavior but I no longer feel any kind of remorse for past actions. Countless mistakes have been made, fights have ensued, terrible things have been said, relationships have been lost, and opportunities have been missed. Although various choices made in the past have dictated my future, chance has also played a major role in determining my fate. Various events and other people’s actions are entirely out of my control, many of which can directly or indirectly impact me. Perhaps my life would have gone down an alternate path had other decisions been made throughout my life or arbitrary things had turned out differently; perhaps that life would have been better than the one I am living now.
Yet here I am, growing as a person everyday. I am learning to live in the present and to look to the future rather than be paralyzed in the past. Of course I do not disregard my past; I recognize less than ideal choices and unforeseen events but I realize I cannot change what has already happened and that lamenting about what could have been is debilitating. Everything that has happened in my life, whether positive or negative, shapes my identity, and I use it to move forward.
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