To one of my best friends, please keep this in mind. You are miraculous.
I have worked so hard to get to where I’m at. I have worked so hard that I deserve a pat on the back, a popping of champagne, a certificate pledging job well done (and so do you). This hard work doesn’t show itself in numbers or statistics or gold stars. For me, it is in the duality of little successes, such as uplifting my teammates in softball and my friends in our tiny townhouse kitchen, and big failures, such as getting a rejection from the top job I wanted, that justify a needed celebration, a deep appreciation for my resilience and strength. Good, give me the failure. Wear that shit like a medal with pride. Keep throwing it my way. Don’t get that job? Good, wasn’t for me then. Break up with a long term partner? Good, they’re missing out and weren’t right for me right now. Sit the bench in a game? Good, more time to reflect, absorb and feel present in the moment.
I challenge you and our society to meet failure with an embrace, with excitement. This will be a learning moment and one that will shape and reshape the person I want to be, that I work to define and redefine everyday.
People often want to find themselves. Heck, I have been guilty of saying this and will continue to say it even after what I’m about to write. There is no definite finding yourself. You are already found and lost at the same time, at all times. You know who you are, you always have, but you are also connecting with a new you every single day. Doesn’t that relieve so much pressure?
You today is not the same you as yesterday, is not the same you as tomorrow.
And while that can be daunting, that is also beautiful. You cannot appreciate the beauty without the struggle. You cannot appreciate the successes without the failures. Keep them coming. Celebrate how far you have come. Pop champagne. Want more champagne? Get drunk off your failures (and no, not the binge drinking drunk but that drunk feeling that gives you the courage to dance on elevated surfaces looking like an absolute fool in the best way.. yes, I know you know the difference) and keep pouring another glass of strength and determination, reminding yourself: “Keep trying.” Queue “Boss Ass Bitch” by Doja Cat. Be your own hypewoman. Take yourself out on a date and buy yourself flowers, as Miley Cyrus says. You deserve it.
If you got anything from this at all, please let it be this: You are right where you are meant to be and nowhere where you can and will be. And that is enough. You are more than enough. Celebrate that every single damn day.