“Your life is here, now. You’re not about to live a tracing-paper copy of it.”
Before November 2021, I had never heard of Dolly Alderton. Before now, you may have never heard of her. But ever since I read her wildly funny, occasionally heartbreaking memoir “Everything I Know About Love” last year, I find myself thinking about this book often. Alderton’s memoir is about more than just love; it is about the strikingly real trials and tribulations of growing up and enduring the challenges of life.
“Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.”
Glittering with wit and insight, Alderton addresses “everything she knows about love,” hence the title of her memoir. When it comes to experiencing the triumphs and disappointments of dating, Alderton has seen it all. She recounts her first kiss, falling in and out of love, first dates and more of her uniquely relatable stories, all while teetering the line between serious and silly. But beyond just romantic relationships, Alderton reveals what her female friendships have taught her about love, and she highlights their importance. She writes, “Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learnt from my long-term friendships with women.” In a way, I think this book is more of an homage to female friendships than it is to traditional romance.
“I said goodbye to this spectacular, beautiful, electric thunderstorm of a girl, knowing it could be the last time I ever saw her.”
Although this book is sure to have you laughing out loud, there is also a notable amount of grief strung between the humor. With life comes loss, and Alderton is careful not to dismiss this. Part of growing up is accepting the loss of things, people, memories. Part of what I love about this book is how true to real life it is. The good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, all woven together as they are in life. Alderton is careful not to sugarcoat the truth. She writes things as they are, sometimes blunt and harsh, but ultimately real and raw.
“Rambunctious, restless and ramshackle. Roving, raucous and rebellious. My roaming decade; my roaring twenties.”
Alderton speaks about growing up as if you are reading your own diary—honest and beautiful. If you are anything like me, or like most other 20 year olds I know, you are probably just trying to navigate your way through life, one small victory at a time. Alderton remembers and explores all the versions of herself through her successes and failures in such a relatable way that you are sure to resonate with. Reading her honest words are a refreshing reminder that it is okay not to have it all figured out at 20; in fact, it’s completely normal not to. At this age, life may feel overwhelming, fleeting, even bewildering. But page after page Dolly reminds us that the life we are living right now is a gift not to be taken for granted.
“It may seem that life is difficult at times but it’s really as simple as breathing in and out,” she writes. “Be the person you wish you could be, not the person you feel you are doomed to be. Let yourself run away with your feelings. You were made so that someone could love you. Let them love you.”