Seven days ago, I turned 20. Like most birthdays, the day felt like any other. I celebrated this new decade of my life like I usually do—overthinking what it means to age and my relationship to my past, present and future selves. Historically, this strenuous overthinking is always followed by a birthday cry and an obligatory cake. As I enter my twenties, I think about everything I’ve learned and all the things I wish I would have learned sooner. There is still much I don’t know, and things I will never learn. However, I can, without a doubt, say that this much I do know.
Embrace fleeting friendships
The last time I entered a new decade of my life, I was in the fourth grade. I had two best friends, bonded for life with matching necklaces to prove it. As time went on, we changed, and so did our friendship. Weekly sleepovers became monthly. This was until we all had new and different friends.
For so much of my life, I feared losing friends, but the truth of the matter is that not all people are meant to be in your life forever. Some people are meant to be your friend for only a moment, and then they depart. This does not mean the friendship was pointless, nor does it have to be sad. Friendships come and go, but memories and lessons learned from said friendships continue with us.
Invite love into your life
For so much of my life, I restricted my understanding of love to its romantic sense. I craved what I read in books and what I watched on TV. I had never wanted something I didn’t understand so badly. It took me some time to learn that love is more than romance—it is nuanced and complex. Love is my mother bringing me fruit to snack on. Love is my friends sending me music they think I would like. Inviting love into your life is more than seeking out a romantic partner, it’s reaching out to friends for coffee. It’s loving yourself as a person. It’s being empathetic towards others. Inviting love into our lives allows us to love more fully and to experience love in a multifaceted way.
As we age, we change.
This change manifests itself physically, but also mentally. Part of growing up is realizing that change is inevitable. However inevitable change might be, it doesn’t make it any less daunting. There is comfort in routine, in what is known. However scared we might be of new things, we should still find ways to seek and encourage change. Change allows us to move forward in life, and experience new things. By seeking discomfort and change, we can facilitate personal growth on our journey to define who we are.
My last piece of advice is this: take some time to reflect about your own life. Think about how you have changed, and how you would like to change in the future. For now, these are things I know for certain. I’m not sure about what the next decade of my life will look like. I’m unsure where I’ll be when I’m 30, or where I’ll be when I’m 25. I hope to live out this next decade looking to know and learn more.