My TikTok algorithm often makes me feel like there’s always a greater level of beauty to achieve. If you’re also comparing yourself to others online, you’re not alone. I feel this way all the time. In a world with ever-changing beauty trends, it is hard to feel at ease with your beauty and physical appearance. There is a new standard to hold your looks to every day.
In my eyes, I could never measure up to the beauty I saw in everyone else. I always felt lacking in some way, and I began to feel an overwhelming pressure to perfect my appearance. Every little thing about me started to look wrong. I would focus on a hair out of place, an imperfection on my face,or the bags under my eyes. It was exhausting worrying about how people saw me.
I used to spend so much time and effort waiting for my glow-up. Self-care was not restful anymore, and I perpetually felt that if I did not look my best, I was failing. I was chasing after a better version of myself without realizing my current worth.
Yet, all of this changed one day when I was at work. I work with preschool-aged kids who are notorious for being brutally honest. My coworker and I were talking about how boys always seem to have long, pretty eyelashes while we get stuck with dull ones. Then one of the kids asked me why I said that and he informed me, “You have very pretty eyelashes!” It was simple for him to tell me that I was wrong in my perception of myself. I then realized that I was doing myself a disservice by picking on every one of my features and finding something to scrutinize in every part of my appearance.
I have learned that there is no such thing as a glow-up, and there will never be one example of beauty to aspire towards. Everyone is gorgeous in their own way. You have never needed to glow up–you have always been beautiful, but it can require courage to realize this.
Moreover, in reality, people do not notice the qualities you think make you less pretty. Think about it. When was the last time you noticed a small flaw and it made you think less of someone? You have never thought that something as trivial as a pimple made someone else less beautiful. No one is negatively fixating on your looks. In fact, your self-perceived imperfections are ultimately what make you perfect.
Although I have come to these realizations about my own beauty, I can’t help but still think about the ideal standard. I still want my frizzy hair to be silky. I still want spotless skin. I’m still critical of my style. Yet, rather than beating myself up, I have learned that this is completely okay and human. It is normal to be self-conscious. It’s not a feeling you can ever outgrow entirely. Instead, you can change your mindsets to realize that people see the beauty in us that we see in them.